Palace Of Westminster To Fall Into The Thames Shock
‘The way we’re going,’ says Mina N Thynne, MP for Skinny Bottom, ‘the Palace of Westminster is going to slide into the Thames.’ Mrs Thynne, suspended from the House for use of ‘unparliamentary language’, and still refusing to apologise, says, ‘The o…
Read full storyTrump Grabbed Coronavirus By The Pussy
Donald Trump seems to believe the coronavirus is over with and yesterday's news. He grabbed coronavirus by the pussy, and it is history. Done! Gone! “Like a miracle. Didn’t I tell you so?” Now on to the next big thing: His re-election. “Like Oba…
Read full storyUK To Reintroduce Pre-Decimal Currency
In the latest in a series of wacky inward-looking post-Brexit moves, the government has announced - much to the delight of Euro-haters - its intention to scrap the present system of currency used, and to revert back to the pounds, shillings and pence…
Read full storyWhite BLM Protestor Screams "I Can't Breathe" While Looting Nike Store
A white Black Lives Matter protester was heard screaming “I can’t breathe” — the phrase George Floyd uttered before his death that has become a slogan for the Black Lives Matter movement - after stumbling while carrying several boxes of Nike Air Max…
Read full storyUSPS Reveal Real Reason They Are Removing Mail Boxes
After a photo of mail collection boxes on a flatbed truck in Boston quickly garnered significant attention on Twitter, on Friday, the U.S. Postal Service clarified why the boxes were being removed. USPS spokesman Steve Doherty told reporters that…
Read full storyPep Guardiola joins Messi in Catholic Priesthood!
(UNEDITED) Being dumped and thumped out of major soccer tournaments leads to inspiration 'from above', especially South American soccer players and, managers who are born in Mediterranean countries, searching for a heavenly sanctuary! However, aft…
Read full storyHoward Hughes is alive!
Recent reports have suggested that once-reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes (believed to have died 44 years ago) is still alive and wielding influence, not just in Hollywood, his old stamping ground, but in the corridors of power in Washington. Hu…
Read full storyAshton Kutcher Tells Trump To Get Off The Golf Course and Help Iowa
CEDAR RAPIDS – (Satire News) - Ashton Kutcher, who was born in Iowa, says that he is furious at President Trump, who seems to be doing nothing lately but spending his time playing golf, eating Big Macs, and attacking Kamala Harris. Kutcher read in…
Read full storyTrump Denies That Melania is Voting For Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - President Trump is furious at a report by CNN’s Don Lemon, that stated that Melania told one of the White House cooks that she is going to be voting for Joe Biden. Melania reportedly said that she considered who…
Read full storyMeghan McCain Says She Will Not Vote for Trump as It Would be Like the Bull Complimenting the Matador
PHOENIX – (Satire News) - Meghan McCain hails from a long line of Republicans. Her father, Senator John McCain, fought in Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, Cambodia, and Greenland to help keep foreigners free. Meghan said that, growing up, she was not allo…
Read full storyThe Kardashians Are Trying To Have Kanye West Committed
CALABASAS, California – TMZ is reporting that Kris Jenner, matriarch of the Kardashian family, is proceeding with plans to have Kanye West committed. At first his wife Kim Kardashian was against it, but after Kanye said that when he is elected he…
Read full storyPresident Trump Threatens to Build A Wall Around Chicago
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - The President, in a phone call to Sean Hannity, said that, if the violence, the looting, and the anti-Trump chants do not stop in the Windy City, he will have no choice but to build a beautiful 10-foot tall wall aro…
Read full storyStormy Daniels' BFF Says That Every Word in Michael Cohen’s Tell-All Book About Stormy and Donald Trump is Right on the Money
LAS VEGAS – (Celebrity Satire) - There is perhaps no one who knows Stormy Daniels better than Windy Winnebago. Windy, who has some connections through the book’s publishing company, was able to obtain the Cohen book titled “Disloyal – The Truth a…
Read full storyPerry to hand over royalties
Pop singer Katy Perry has agreed to donate half of all her royalties to the Shaved Head Girl Power Manifest Destiny Feminist Autonomous Collective or SHGPMDFAC for short. When asked whether it was best to hand over so much money to an organisation…
Read full storyJenny McCarthy Develops Covid-19 Vaccine
(Los Angeles) – Actress/talk show host Jenny McCarthy has announced that she has discovered a vaccine for Covid-19. “We have just completed Phase III trials, and the vaccine is effective against Covid-19. I used a weakened version of the common c…
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