China threatens Australia over COVID-19 inquiry proposal
Chinese ambassador to Australia, Mr Fook Mi Dook, today issued a thinly-veiled threat to Australia, following their government's proposed independent inquiry into the COVID-19 outbreak. Mr Mi Dook stated, "Oh ye-es, gleetings from Beijing, the cap...
Read full storySpoof Writer Checks Discussion Boards Every Thirty Minutes
Leading Spoof writer, the illustrious Dr. Billingsgate, holder of several doctorates, and known to have at least thirty-seven patents to his name, reportedly took five minutes to look around thespoof.com message boards commenting on how much the disc...
Read full storySenator Mitch McConnell Says No Bailout For Blue States
Republican Senator Mitch McConnell says let the blue states declare bankruptcy. Or no bailout for blue states. Blue states are Democratic states. Red states are Republican states. McConnell represents the state of Kentucky. Kentucky is a red stat...
Read full storyUS Bacon Crisis Leads to Pentagon Red Alert
Waterloo, Iowa - "NO BACON", that was the critical situation report which NSA and top military analysts saw at 5:40am, as they prepared to deliver the White House Daily Brief. For more than half of a century, the Pentagon has been able to tell the Pr...
Read full storyPriti Patel backed by Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson has sworn to stand by Priti Patel amid allegations she bullied staff in several departments. Outside number 10, Mr Johnson was challenged about his ability to side step serious issues concerning his staff. "Priti Patel is a nic...
Read full storyNashville Man Questions whether He’s Truly Evolving
Always intent on being on the cutting edge of his species, 42-year-old Trent Buchanan of Nashville, Tennessee, had been certain that he was personally helping advance humanity – only for a call from his mother inquiring about his job status to cause...
Read full storyPaper or Cloth are not Substitutes for Condoms
The Center for Disease Control (“CDC”) has informed Americans that covering one’s face with a mask constructed from cloth, paper towels, or even toilet paper is acceptable, if one is in a position where one’s nose and mouth should be covered and a me...
Read full storyHousehold cures for Covid 19 à la Trump
Following Mr. Trump's stunning suggestion concerning the injection of disinfectant to overcome this infuriating Covid thing which simply won't go away, the White House has issued leaflets with further recommendations for the general public, emanating...
Read full storyPresident Trump Presented With Panda From Xi Jinping
In a show of genuine heartfelt friendship, and to show that his relationship with the US really matters, the Chinese leader, Xi Jinping, has sent a gift of a giant panda to President Trump. The panda arrived in a crate unloaded from a Chinese junk...
Read full storyPresident Trump Vows to Start Banning Some of the Dozens of Reality Cooking Shows
WASHINGTON, D.C – The president recently stated that he has been getting a lot of complaints about the tremendous amount of cooking shows on the cable channels. He said that people say that they’re fed up with shows like "Master Chef", "Blocked",...
Read full storyBlake Shelton & Gwen Stefani's Duet Tops The Billboard Country Music Chart
TISHOMINGO, Oklahoma – Throughout the years, the world of country music has seen a lot of very popular duets, from Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, to Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood. But the newest country duet on the horizon has just hit the jack...
Read full storyLeBron James Hints That He May Be Playing Basketball In Norway
LOS ANGELES – One of the greatest basketball players to ever dribble a basketball, LeBron James, has informed Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine that he may be leaving the country. James, who plays for the Los Angeles Lakers, said that the NBA seas...
Read full storyMeghan Markle Says That Melania Trump Told Her She is Planning on Divorcing the President
LOS ANGELES – Ever since returning to the United States, Meghan Markle and her husband, Prince Harry, have been making lots of friends. Meghan first met the first lady at a charity softball game to benefit unemployed doctors in Los Angeles County.
Read full storyCOVID-19 U.S. outbreak traced to Donald Trump's forehead
A major embarrassment for any normal president, the World Health Organisation today announced that the U.S. COVID-19 outbreak has been traced to Donald Trump's forehead. Spokeswoman Sylvia Vanderviris made the announcement. "Yah, using zee Departm...
Read full storyFamily Has Lost All Track Of Time During Virus Lockdown
A family of four who, like everybody else in Britain, have been enduring the Coronavirus lockdown with mounting frustration and irritation, have now been able to add 'confusion' to that list, after admitting to the fact that they had lost all track...
Read full storyThousands Volunteer to Visit North Korean Dictator Kim Rather than Stay in Cov-19 Lockdown
According to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, tens of thousands of Americans suffering from severe cabin fever have volunteered to travel to North Korea for the sole purpose of checking on the medical condition of that country's infamous Dictator, Kim...
Read full storyBrits Call for a Temporary Ban on Data Visualization Until We Can Figure Out What the Hell is Going On
(Oxford, UK) A recent graphic published by Danny Dorling from the University of Oxford, has everyone from the educated knobs to the sweaty wazzocks scratching their heads in bewilderment. Many here have called for a ban on data visualization, or “inf...
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