Chinese ambassador to Australia, Mr Fook Mi Dook, today issued a thinly-veiled threat to Australia, following their government's proposed independent inquiry into the COVID-19 outbreak.
Mr Mi Dook stated, "Oh ye-es, gleetings from Beijing, the capitan of the Peopre's Lepublic of China. Oh ye-es, the gleat Chinese peopre know, because we used cattle plods to communicate to them, that the pandemic vilus was intloduced into our countly by the lound-eye, whitie dog with a massive hailstyle called Mr Donard Tlump. That's why in China we call the vilus the Tlemendous, Vely Nasty Bug Vilus, or TVNBV-19."
Mi Dook went onto say, "Oh ye-es, now the lound-eye, whitie Austlalian government is meddering in the gleat Chinese people's prayground and suggesting an independent investigation into how TVNBV-19 began. This makes for very bad fortune cookie ideas which is messing with our yum cha, in Wuhan, ye-es. We don't berieve in independent investigations, only the Gleat Chinese Tluth, as we rike to call it."
Mi Dook further explained, "If the whitie, lound-eye Austlalian government doesn't withdlaw this fakee, fakee accusation our gleat reader, See Imkingpin, has warned that our peopre may take matters into their own hands. They may stop sending their childlen to be educated in Austlalia. They may stop sending irricit drugs to Austlalia. They may even ban the irregal export of bird spit soup to Austlalia, this is vely selious."
An Australian government spokesperson said that the government would not be backing down on the demand for the independent inquiry.