Movie Outs Michael As King Of Poop
Hollywood, Ca - (Ass Mess): A new film about King Michael says he wiped his arse on the criminal justice system and dumped all over the constitution of the United Snakes. Shot on location at an LA propofol factory the hour-long docu-drama examines...
Read full storyThe Royal Scamly
In a weird show of complete “we’re still not getting this shit”, the Royal family have vowed to block any social media trolls, without realizing the delicious irony that they in fact have been trolling the country for years. Every time we at criti...
Read full storyStorm Blows Fast and Wet through Desperate Desert Town
A powerful rainstorm blew fast and wet through the desperate desert town of Henderson, Nevada, this weekend, bringing sticky sighs of relief - and of sheer pleasure - to residents desperate for lubrication. "Praise Jesus, was I happy to get some,"...
Read full storyMan In Boardroom Smelt It, But Had Not Dealt It
A man in a boardroom meeting has told how he became aware of an odious smell that had nothing to do with him. Michael Brackley, 26, an executive trainee at Pratley-Whiffer Marketing Consultants explained that he was in a group policy meeting on ma...
Read full storyShamima Begum Has Been Fitted For Some Clogs
Shamima Begum, the 19-year-old former ISIS bride who has had her British citizenship rescinded by the UK government, is to go and live in Holland, and has been fitted for some clogs. She is a whopping size 11. Shamima, which means 'tulips', is...
Read full storyWeightlifter Drops Dumbbell On His Face Due To Severe Depression While Song, "Dust In The Wind," Plays In The Background
Wisconsin. On the morning of Tuesday, February 26th, local Prairie du Chien resident, Tom Smith, 39, dropped a 50-pound dumbbell on his face while doing heavy incline presses at a gym several blocks down the street from where he lives. Feeling...
Read full storyThe Last Straw: Environmentalists ban Plastic Ones
Berkeley, CA. Those far-left, socialist-environmentalists at the University of California can't stop banning popular, useful things. Fresh from their success in banning the deliberately misnamed "single use" plastic bag, most of which were used multi...
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