The Royal Scamly

Written by Backandtotheleft

Monday, 4 March 2019


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In a weird show of complete “we’re still not getting this shit”, the Royal family have vowed to block any social media trolls, without realizing the delicious irony that they in fact have been trolling the country for years.

Every time we at critically acclaimed news group “Back and to the Left News” see a news story about a hospital closure, kids going hungry, rising homelessness or schools being fucked, we can normally find a story about the Royal family soon after. Usually showing us their new two-hundred-grand coat, or pictures of William on his 9th holiday of the fucking year.

Rightly, the Royal Family’s social media accounts should block those who post direct and vile abuse towards these freeloaders. There is no excuse from anyone to post rape or death threats towards children or young women, or even that old racist twonk Philip.

However, why is there such a high level of resentment and anger towards them?

This is literally a family who has palaces, castles, wealth and access to forbidden magic, because their ancestors killed and maimed fucking harder than anyone else’s. More and more people are turning against the Royal family because, in a time when austerity has crippled communities beyond saving, these motherfuckers are living in palaces with heated empty rooms. While the homeless die on frozen streets.

They will block the trolls, but troll the country itself: the Queen giving her Xmas day speech, whilst a golden piano sits in the fucking background.

If they want the online abuse to tone down, if they want to be loved again, maybe….stop feeding your fucking dog on silver platters while the North of fucking England survives on food banks!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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