Arizona Hires Swedish Immigrant Killer To Guard Mexican Border

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Sunday, 7 November 2010

image for Arizona Hires Swedish Immigrant Killer To Guard Mexican Border
ABOVE: The 'lawn' in front of Arizona's state capital.

The State of Arizona, whose state motto is "Cinco De Drinko Is Cancelled, Wetbacks!", has hired the 38-year-old Swedish man suspected in a series of shootings targeting immigrants.

"Derr manna eesa arrsteed forda moodering und ammentemmpted moorder. I vuoold leeke-a tu chhoorge hima fora da killeng da foorgeigners. Bork! Bork! Bork!" said Swedish lead prosecutor Solveig Wollstad.

"What connects all these crimes is that the victims have an immigrant background," said Björk Guðmundsdóttir Oogybogy, a spokesman for the regional criminal division.

"Well, hell, that's just what we need," said Arizona governor Jan Brewer. "It'll give the greaseballs something to be concerned about when they cross the border."

Flaming nutbag Brewer, who believes in strict enforcement of border security, with absolutely no amnesty for illegal immigrants entering the United States unlawfully over the Mexico, signed into law the controversial Arizona bill which, in addition to making it a misdemeanor for a state or local government official to fail to report immigration law violations discovered while administering a public benefit or service, makes it legal to fire a warning shot into the chest or abdomen of anyone who looks Mexican.

On June 27, 2010, Brewer, while speaking on the subject of crime related to illegal immigration, said "law enforcement agencies have found bodies in the desert either buried or just lying out there that have been beheaded." This was proven to be utter bullsh-t.

In July, Brewer announced that 10 million dollars given to her state by the federal government, most of which was intended to go to education, would instead go to hiring snipers to kill illegal immigration suspects.

"Frankly, I don't know why the beaners try to enter Arizona," said Brewer. "It's hot as balls, Wal*Mart is the cultural hub of the community, and, you know, Arizona is a f--king desert, so there's no food here."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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