Cyberspace - (The Final Affroniere): Struggling hasbeen and octogenarian self-publicist to the Illuminati Elizabeth Vagina has cracked.
The lure of social nitworking site Faecesbook has finally grasped her in its clutches - for a reported $5 million secret bung.
From Monday HM's gargoyle visage will be available on the ludicrous webshite along with a raft of her totally spurious Nazi relatives.
HM becomes the site's top vanity draw receiving an additional $1-a-time for each 'poke' from fellow users.
Cyber watchers however suggest that it's all a cynical ploy just in time for this week's fatal televised coronary at the Cenotaph.
"A cyber rating opportunity like that is practically unprecedented," Faecesbook CEO Mark Fuckerberg commented today.
Prince Philip's colostomy bag - a.k.a. Joanna Lumley - is 69.