Must Buy Stock Portfolio

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Sunday, 7 November 2010

SNJ (Susan Niels James) UP 2% - Interest went up from male traders after willing to re-merger, due to the break-up with JJ (Jock Johnson)

NWS (Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.) Up 20% - The Sun tabloid in Britain and the FOX News network in America decided to report real news instead of Onion rip-offs

APPL (Apple, Inc.) Down 57% - John from Accounting keeps going on about his iPad, Pod, Phone, Mac and all his other iCrap the douchebag

SNY (Sony) - Up 200% - Decided not to sue anyone today for downloading, like, one song

BARC (Barclay's Bank, PLC) Up 45% - Bankers were generous and gave their bonuses to starving homeless people on street

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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