Jesse James Says He Wanted To Get Caught
Now Jesse James is telling the public at every interview that he secretly wanted to get caught cheating on Sandra Bullock, even though he says he is still crazy in love with her. Most think he should have ended his interviews with the word "crazy"...
Read full storyBritish Wheelbarrow Containing Sarah Ferguson Carries Off Land Speed Record
In the grasscutting-choked wake of William Davidson, the descendant of 19th century novelist and lawnmowing pioneer William Makepeace Thackeray whose steam-powered Victorian lawnmower and lemonade-brewing machine, Bluebird VI, broke the world land sp...
Read full storyThe F.A. promise the World Cup 2018 mascot will not be another f**king lion
In a last ditch bid to bring the 2018 World Cup to England after Lord Treesperm told some attention seeking ginger tart about the Spanish cheating as usual, the English F.A. have promised UEFA that if their bid is successful they will not choose anot...
Read full storyDuchess Of York Caught On Camera Renting Out Ex-Husband
Britain's Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, was caught on camera Saturday apparently offering to sell access to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew. Today, her attorney stated to the press that Fergy was guilty of a "serious lapse in judgment." Accor...
Read full storyOil Slick Surges up the Mississippi
BP officials are struggling with the latest surge of oil from the out of control oil well in the Gulf of Mexico. Efforts to cover it with a large block of concrete and cap it with an ordinary plastic kitchen funnel have proved fruitless, only serving...
Read full storyA Sad Day As Ray Alan Dies - Lord Charles Vows To Go On
It is with great sadness today that we convey news of the passing of the most technically perfect ventriloquist of all time. Bar none. Including Edgar Bergen. Ray Alan, revered by many, and a staple of a great many children's lives with Lord Charl...
Read full storyMany Wealthy Elderly Tourists Headed For The Gulf Coast For Cures
What has thus far been a total disaster for hotels and businesses around the Gulf of Mexico over the oil spill, may not be so bad after all. "We read in TheSpoof that everyone here had the shits, over the oil slick mixing into the water supply",...
Read full story"Patches" Kennedy Caught Trying to Suck Worm from Quart of Tequila with Straw To Show Support for Felipe Caldreron!
Ted Kennedy's son, Patrick, known as "Patches" around New England thanks to Boston Critic & Columnist Howie Carr, was pulled out of yet another Rhode Island Bar last night after he lost a battle trying to suck the worm out of a quart bottle of Te...
Read full storyCannibal planets are observed gobbling up their neighbours
In far off galaxies cannibal planets have been observed gobbling up their neighbours and scientists are convinced that God is busy proving to us that he really exists. They believe that God is so unhappy with his major creation, planet earth and t...
Read full storyTony and Cherie laugh off 'imminent police raid' rumors
London - (Portents): Dulcet strains of The Godfather theme song 'Speak Softly Love' were heard wafting across Connaught Square this afternoon amid rumors that Tony and Cherie will be busted in the morning. Inside their end-of-terrace mansion the B...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Gets SCRAM Ankle Bracelet, Random Drug Tests, From Judge
After leaving the clinic early that she had been sentenced to, for earlier alcohol and drug abuse, a Los Angeles judge has had it with Lindsay Lohan. To add to her crimes, she was late getting back from the Cannes festival and ten minutes late for...
Read full storyO' Halloran: The Stamp of Death: Part 7
- WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS WANKING AND SEXUAL REFERENCES TO SEX AND SHIT. IN FACT, THIS PARTICULAR CHAPTER HAS SOME HARDCORE SEXUAL ACTION WHICH SOME MAY FIND TWISTED, PERVERSE AND WEIRD- Part 1|Part 2|Part 3| Part 4 | Part 5| Part 6 Part 7 - THE CONCLUSION Psychotown Police Station - Morning O' Halloran kicks down the door of the station and marches inside closely followed by...
Read full storyObama Proposes Tax On 4 Hour Erections
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said today that President Obama was willing to look at a tax on 4 hour erections caused by Cialis or other erectile performance drugs. Noting that the new health care bill includes a tax on discretionary personal bo...
Read full storyJapanese go crazy for Hard Core
When building publishing mogul Bob T. Builder decided to launch his trade Magazine Hard Core. He was amazed that they had Eighteen and a half million subscribers at the initial launch. This caused publishing history. Bob made the following announcement on Japanese television. "I did not know so many Japanese men were interested in the Road Construction business " It all goes to show,...
Read full storyGetting 'pissed" on Guinness is good for you!
Guinness is good for you and that's a fact, after being tested on dogs. It's been proven that those given Guinness were far more healthier than those given lager, albeit, the Guinness dogs couldn't walk straight and became obese! Guinness owners a...
Read full storySuBo fanatics call in the detectives!
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies last night called in detectives to search for 51,000 missing fanatics. The loonies, who recently staged a management buyout of their beloved meeting place, were told to expect 52,000 members but could o...
Read full storySuBo Fanatic Contracts White-Nose Syndrome
It was announced today by the Illinois Department of Natural Resources that all bat caves at the Apple River Canyon State Park in northeastern Jo Daviess County will be closed to public access until further notice due to the outbreak of a bat disease...
Read full storyPaula Abdul Toe-Tappin' Her Way Back into America's Heart
Just when you thought two things: (1) That all the television stations already had their own dance-theme shows; and (2) that Paula Abdul had given up on making a comeback, you get the news that both of them are wrong, wrong, wrong. The announcemen...
Read full storyI Saw London, I Saw France, I Saw Venus' Underpants
These are the words being spoken today after a much appreciative crowd was wowed by what Venus Williams served up at the French Open. "I just wanted the crowd to see what I'm made of," said Venus. "I am so talented, I wanted to make sure everyone see...
Read full storyFat Asre Grows Exponentially
High street retailer Fat Asre has experienced exponential profit growth in the last financial year, CEO Derek Lard announced today. Share prices rose sharply, wobbled about and then flattened out following the announcement. Fat Asre specialises i...
Read full storySatan's Face Seen in Eyjafjallajökull Ash Cloud
Pentecoastal preacher Morris Cerillo, leader of the radical right wing evangelist cult, the Christian Fist of Humility, saw the face of Satan in the ash cloud hanging over the Eyjafjallajökull volcano last week. "I've come face to face with Satan...
Read full storyRoger Hargreaves' Mr Men books not to be translated
The children's classic books the Mr Men and Little Misses are not to be translated into French, after it transpired that the names were not suitable for children. Mr Bump, an innocent sounding name in English, translates as Msr Tamponner in French...
Read full storyQueen apoplectic as cops probe Duchess bribery claims
London - (Cash-for-Trash): Soaring London temperatures and a ghastly ex-daughter-in-law corruption scandal are putting the kybosh up HM's pleasant annual trip to inaugurate the Chelsea Flower Show. With the thermometer nudging thirty degrees celci...
Read full storyScottish FA announce new sponsor
After the shock parting of the ways between Tennants and the Scottish FA, the Scottish footballing body has acted quickly to fill the gap. The Scottish based drinks company has made the decision after David Tennant left the popular BBC drama, Doc...
Read full storyConspiracy nutters agog as dodgy ticker claims Simon Monjack
Hollywood - (RIP): "At this stage we're not ruling out karmic death pact theories or a sudden terminal ectoplasm related seizure," sources at the LA TinFoilHatters-R-Us.con website said today. "Anyone know if we can book Ray Santilli to perform th...
Read full storyEx-Royal Freak Hospital MMR quack Dr Andrew Wakefield struck off
London - (Toxic Ass Mess): The former immunologist and his eminent sidekick Professor John Walker-Smith have been struck off by the GMC. The professional regulator found the pair guilty of gross professional misconduct in a classic smoke 'n' mirro...
Read full storyBig Ass Mess: Clinton Rammed From Behind On Way to Yale Payday!
The Merritt Parkway was snarled for hours yesterday after a Secret Service vehicle containing Bill Clinton and an unnamed intern was rammed from behind causing the former president undisclosed injuries. Billy Bob was on his way to yet another easy...
Read full storyAussie Avertising Agency Says A Billion Dollars is Difficult To Comprehend
The next time you hear a politician use the Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending your tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it's releases. A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959. B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was ali...
Read full storyCreator of Pope Benedict Condoms Receiving Death Threats
Rameses Trojani, creator and distributor of the controversial Pope Benedict XVI condoms, announced yesterday that he has been receiving death threats and has demanded 24-hour police protection. Herr Trojani, billionaire owner of The Netherlands In...
Read full storyHmm....Cleaner Tasting Sausages - One Man's Fight To Battle Sausage Machine!
A cleaner came close to being the latest taste sensation in the sausage world. The guy narrowly avoided being minced into sausage after a mishap in the United States, after he was sucked into a machine at his employers sausage-making company. The...
Read full storyLady Gaga - "I love the rumor that I have a penis"
In a recent interview, Lady Gaga admitted she just loves the rumors that she has a penis (hmm okay). Despite clearing up speculation as to whether or not she's a man or woman, she (Lady Gaga) says the rumors keep erecting (LOL). But the tough stuf...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent: Liam McNally's Version of "Danny Boy" A Big Hit With The Audience and Judges
LONDON - The star of the latest edition of Britain's Got Talent is a 14-year-old student named Liam McNally. Little Liam thrilled the crowd with his amazing rendition of "Danny Boy." Liam said that he usually sings the song while accompanying hims...
Read full storyForeskinheads angered over public Lesbian nude ballet
HARDIN KY (ABSNN) -- Bill Pilant, Grand Wizard Deluxe of the Hardin White Supremist Foreskinheads, LLC, led a group of sixty like-minded dickheads in a march to protest public Lesbian nude ballet which they termed "just a bunch of really ugly, fat ch...
Read full storyThe White House Blames Sarah Palin For The Oil Spill Since She Insisted On Off-Shore Drilling
SAN FRANCISCO - Sarah Palin, speaking in a town she has referred to as San Fransissyco, has finally grown some and admitted that the tremendous Gulf of Mexico oil spill is her fault. Palin, looking somewhat springtime-ish in her yellow, pink, and...
Read full storyCelebrity Apprentice: The Rock & Roller Bret Michaels Wins It All!
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump did not tell Holly Robinson Peete that she was fired. But he did tell Bret Michaels that he was hired as the new Celebrity Apprentice before a live audience. Holly, who had been crying from the beginning of the Celebri...
Read full storySkoob's Cat Signs Up For Rival Website
Noted idiot and satirist Skoob1999 confirmed today that his well regarded cat, Scrappy The Psycho Killer has announced that she's off. She says she wants nothing to do with TheSpoof.com any more, and that she intends to write amusing pieces for a riv...
Read full storyEPA Demands New Dispersant
A US EPA representative today announced that British Petroleum shall be directed to use a less toxic dispersant in the Gulf of Mexico. Reportedly, the dispersant being used up until now was manufactured by a BP subsidiary, and while it was neither cl...
Read full storyJohn Stossel Climbs over Glenn Beck to Be Numero Uno at Fox
New York, NY - Fox's John Stossel is the latest in a line of Libertarians stepping up to the plate and saying they want to see a repeal of the Civil Rights Act. Stossel's comments comes on the heels of interviews given by Rand Paul, the GOP candidat...
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