These are the words being spoken today after a much appreciative crowd was wowed by what Venus Williams served up at the French Open. "I just wanted the crowd to see what I'm made of," said Venus. "I am so talented, I wanted to make sure everyone sees me for who I am."
What she appeared to be was a performer at the Folies Bergere not a contender for a tennis trophy. At any rate, fans were thankful to Venus for finally taking steps to help alleviate the strain they feel when watching tennis in a side-to-side fashion. "After I get done watching Tennis," said one fan, "I have to go home and put heat on my shoulders. I'm in such pain. But with Venus' new outfit, she has shifted my gaze from side-to-side to up-and-down."
The outfit in question happens to be a real show stopper. The black and red see-thru top looks like a cross between a corset and a tutu, and the underpants are just that, not shorts or even shorty-shorts, but tighty-whiteys, that just happen to be skin-toned. In fact, so skin-toned, that some people texting pictures to friends had their mobile phone accounts temporarily cancelled for texting inappropriate material.
Rumors have it that once summer is officially here, Williams is going to bare even more with an outfit she designed called the "Venus Fly-trap" which consists of nothing more than pink pasties and a skin-tone colored thong. She's hoping it will catch lots of buzz.
One thing is for sure, if you have an imagination and you are heading out to see Venus Williams play tennis, you can leave the imagination at home. It won't be needed.