London - (Cash-for-Trash): Soaring London temperatures and a ghastly ex-daughter-in-law corruption scandal are putting the kybosh up HM's pleasant annual trip to inaugurate the Chelsea Flower Show.
With the thermometer nudging thirty degrees celcius the Queen's face was looking distinctly beetrootish at a royal gong ceremony this morning.
Despite a massive Palace charm offensive to cool down the Sarah Ferguson graft fiasco nothing seems to be soothing the monarch's rocketing blood pressure.
"Bloody woman will get us all jailed!" a frantic Duke of Edinburgh railed at Hellfire Club gofers at lunchtime following reports of an official police investigation.
The Duchess of York is apparently being probed following this weekend's classic Sunday Smearer sting.
Undercover sources hinted today that the redtop coup 'could be a classic cover-up' for 'literally dozens' of Fergie's previous cash upfront scams.
Fifteen years of unexplained lavish spending on clothes, jewellery, exotic foreign holidays etc may well have been financed by other lucrative introductions, sources commented.
All eyes will be on UK early evening news tonight as HM tours the Royal Hospital Chelsea grounds.
