Piers Morgan FINALLY calls Susan Boyle
S: Hallo P: Hi Susan, how the devil are you? This is Piers! S: Piers who? P: Hahaha - Piersy Baby S: The only Piersy Baby I know is my teddy bear and he hasn't mastered the telephone yet. P: But I bet he is a cute curly-haired cuddly little guy. S: Well, not since I stuck the pins in various parts. I have just left him on the shelf for now. What do you want? P: I want...
Read full storyKnot Justice! Venables Tried to Become Boy Scout Leader
Jamie Bulger's killer Jon Venables was banged up again after it was discovered that he had applied to be a Boy Scout Leader, a source close to this newspaper revealed yesterday. Cops allegedly collared Venables as he left a Boy Scout Troop meeting...
Read full storyKatie Price and The Price is Right
Katie Price wants to see the return of the television game show THE PRICE IS RIGHT, even although Katie Price is very often wrong. Price wants to host the new game show which previously ran from 24th March 1984 to January 2007. Over the years the...
Read full storyPrimate And Gay Lover Tie Knot
Primate and gay lover say, "I do." In a rare confluence of legal issues that point out the problems that ensue when there is a conflict with the laws of nature and the laws of man, the ACLU and the Lambda Legal Defense have agreed to defend the right...
Read full storyPostman Pat gets a pay rise
They were dancing in the streets of Greendale today celebrating the news that local legend, Postman Pat had been given a payrise after months of negotiations with his employer, the Royal Mail. The hard working postie had just finished his round at...
Read full storyMining Company Claims Parts of Manhattan
Under Stuyvesant Town and the surrounding area, in lower east Manhattan, lies a substantial deposit of the rare mineral platinum, and related metals: ruthenium, rhodium, palladium, osmium, and iridium. The General Mining and Excavation Corp. of...
Read full storyPiers Morgan Rates Cheryl Cole Higher Than Robert Pattinson And Susan Boyle But Not As High As Simon Cowell
In what was most certainly a weekend to forget for Britain's tabloid editors, there was one news item which was actually true, swirling around out there amongst all the slings and arrows of outrageous fiction. A former tabloid editor himself (Unti...
Read full story250,000 JFK letters of condolence all say 'Lyndon Johnson ordered hit'
New York - More than a quarter of a million letters of condolence to Jackie Kennedy from grieving American citizens, to be published next month, all point the finger at Vice President Lyndon Johnson for ordering the Dallas hit. It will be the firs...
Read full storyWowSoNowILoveThatHotCelebTeen Fashion
Hi, and welcome to the March WSNILTHCT Fashion pages. I has all the hawt info to make you look Cool with a K! Trend One: Goth. The best gothic item of clothing we could find in New Look was fake diamond studded black leather denim cotton skinny harem pants!! So CUTE!! For JUST 1,576 pounds of your money! Gothic make-up tip: Apply black eyeliner. There you go! 'Cause rock chic, rock chi...
Read full storySalary Cap to "destroy Premier League"
Norwich - Radical plans to overhaul the pay of Premier League footballers were announced Monday by Chief Executive Lord Peter Scudamore. "We are committed to ensuring that: our fans get value for money; our players are paid according to what their...
Read full storyInternet access is a fundamental human right claim the BBC, except for Spoof Writers!
A survey organised by the BBC has discovered that the world population should have access to the internet and that it's a fundamental human right only Spoof writers should be banned! People were interviewed in 26 countries and everybody was unanim...
Read full storyPenis Envy in DNA Says Liz Cheney
Liz Cheney appearing on Fox News said that penis envy had been in her family for as long as she could remember. "My mother certainly has it," Ms. Cheney said, "and from what I can hear when my Mom and Dad are arguing, he has it too. At least, that's...
Read full storyCops probe Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates captured great aunt' claims
London - (Abduction Mess): The Jon Venables media storm has taken a startling new turn as police begin investigating former Bulger killer accomplice Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates' kidnap claims. Muckers of the 27 year-old told told the Daily C...
Read full storyRyan bears all for posterity
Hollywood, Los Angeles The 82nd Academy Awards have been held today and every one is talking about the "streaker" who performed during an advertisement break. The naked form of a person who suspiciously resembled Simon Cowell was seen gallopping a...
Read full storyThe Men In Black what the hells going on.
Never mind that crazy Movie,MEN IN BLACK with Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, who are the real men in black. In the 1950s and 1960s there were thousands of reports of the mysterious men in black, visiting people who had witnessed UFO'S. People who witnessed UFO's were often visited by the men in black and told to keep quiet about their experience. The Men In black always seem to arrive in Bl...
Read full storyStirling Moss in unexpected pit stop drama
London - (Arse-Over-Tit Mess): The octogenarian Grand Prix champ is recovering in hospital after 'someone or something' pushed him three stories (sic) down a lift shaft on Saturday. The incident happened in his London home on Saturday, once dubbed...
Read full storyBritish Airways Changes Name
The new and shortened name for British Airways is just BA in keeping with their web name BA.com. The new name is pronounced Bah not B.A. Effective April 1 the airline will answer the phone as BA, or BAH, how can I help you? The new moniker...
Read full storyThe Daleks are taking over - Says Boffin
Scientists are refusing to comment following the publication of a letter in the prestigious newspaper, The Prestatyn Herald, which claims that Daleks are already infiltrating planet Earth. These astounding revelations have been put forward by loc...
Read full storyFree Membership to Buildaburgers Club says Homer Simpson
Homer Simpson has announced that it is absolutely FREE to join the Buildaburgers Club. It costs you nothing you don't need a membership card and being a member, means you could sit around not bothering with anything, except building big Cheeseburge...
Read full storyPetroecuador Madonna 'Weeping Crude Tears'
Quito - (UpStreamGal!): Thousands have flocked to La Catedral de Quito following reports that its iconic 16th century portrait of the Virgin Mary Maddona El Petroecuador is 'weeping tears of oil.' The painting began its lachrymose gush last year w...
Read full storyThe Writers for Spoof May Be Paid in Catalog Rewards
Writers contributing to The Spoof fantasize about actually getting paid for their hard work and creative contributions. The writer's dream is to make some kind of living on doing what comes natural. Now those goofy spoof writers are getting serious...
Read full storyNow Hear This!
Attention all good writers for TheSpoof.com and mucky mucks that have their heart set on such by land and by sea. It has come to the knowledge of yours truly that several untoward thoughts may be being made public by alleged writers in The Forums particularly those expressing their thoughts without due course of a story to prove their mettle. Writers should be made aware that Mr. Mark Lowton...
Read full storyDavid Beckham descended from the Mayans
A vintage copy of "Creative Writing" has been discovered in a pile of otherwise ordinary magazines. There is nothing special about the find except a small article, written one feels, with an imperfect knowledge of the UK and it's most celebrated citi...
Read full storyLottery funding for army veterans
London - There was some cheer for Army veterans early Monday morning when the Big Lottery Fund announced it will be launching its "Forces In Mind" programme later this month, with an initial kitty of £35m. The programme has been designed to help A...
Read full storyNew Moon Love Triangle Moves From The Screen To Real-Life
Kristen Stewart set tongues wagging at the Oscars the other night, and not for the right reasons. I was instantly enchanted by her and her amazing dress but our attention was quickly monopolized by the absence of boyfriend Robert Pattinson. Instead...
Read full storyKatie Price Refused Entry To Party
Katie Price has not succeeded in gaining entry to Elton John's Oscars Party. Disguised as a big blue flamenco dancing drag queen she tried to sneak past security, but was rumbled and asked to leave. Price was forced to try the stunt after she receiv...
Read full storyEd Ball's Build Your Own Vagina Project in a Flap!
The Nation's school children have been devastated to hear that Ed Ball's much vaunted & long awaited pet scheme "Educating The Nations's Children to Respect through the Medium of Building a Better Vagina Project" has sadly been scrapped after a f...
Read full storyThe Academy Awards: Hurt Locker Wins Best Picture
HOLLYWOOD - The Hurt Locker An Iraq war film about an army disposal bomb squad has won this year's Academy Award for Best Picture. James Cameron's ex-wife Kathyrn Bigelow, directed the Academy Award winning film and has become the first female dir...
Read full storyDancing On Ice: Christopher Dean Chilling With Karen Barber
LONDON - Christopher Dean of Dancing On Ice fame has reportedly separated from his wife and has been seen doing the 'kissy-kissy' with Karen Barber, Dancing On Ice judge who is rather on the married side. The Nottinghamshire ice skater Dean is one...
Read full storyKelly Clarkson Says Everyone Better Stop Saying She's Fat Or Else She'll Never Sing Again
MINOT, North Dakota - The winner of the very first season on American Idol, Kelly Clarkson performed at Minot's The Damn It's Cold Palace Arena before a near sellout crowd. Kelly was asked after her performance why she would have a black rap band...
Read full storyPeter Andre In Hiding
I have received unconfirmed reports that singer/songwriter Peter Andre has gone into hiding and may cancel the remainder of his tour. His whereabouts are unknown and his management are not answering their phones. His disappearance is believed by s...
Read full storyThe Academy Awards: Jeff Bridges Wins The Oscar For Best Actor
HOLLYWOOD - After five nominations, Jeff Bridges has finally won an Oscar for best actor. The son of Lloyd Bridges and brother of Beau Bridges won for his portrayal of Otis "Bad Apple" Blake in the film Crazy Heart. Blake is a down and out country...
Read full storyThe Academy Awards: Sandra Bullock Wins The Oscar For Best Actress
HOLLYWOOD - Sandra Bullock beat out the highly favored Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren to win the Academy Award for Best Actress. Bullock won for her performance in the movie Blind Side, which is not the story of Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder as many...
Read full storyKatie Price Slams Dance
Model mum and perfume giant, Katie Price, was fuming this morning when she gave her daily press conference from her baby-making trip to Los Angeles. Today's topic was what she thinks about her ex-husband's UK tour. In yet another attack on Peter A...
Read full storyProblems in Bed: 1 in 10 Females in UK Fake Orgasms, 9 of 10 Partners Admit to Being Gay!
The Secret 'Troubles' appears to have spilled from the bedrooms of thousand of UK women with one in ten admitting to faking organisms, and over 48% claiming it was a common occurrence due to inadequate performance by their male partners. Unofficial...
Read full storyGrandpa Ganja On Gardening Skills
(NB-This posting concerns medical marijuana and is intended as an advisory for legitimate patients who want to grow their own medicine. If you're not deathly ill with some hideous disease, you may not read this material under pain of, uh, some awful consequence. Forewarned is forearmed.) On Gardening Skills Okay, so you've been to the pot dispensary and learned that the st...
Read full storyMan appalled at thought of 'inevitable' sex with Ashley Cole
Manchester factory worker Brian Hilton has expressed his horror at what he believes is now an inevitable sexual encounter with disgraced footballer Ashley Cole. 'It seems everyday another crop of beautiful women appear in our newspapers and televi...
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