Cops probe Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates captured great aunt' claims

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 8 March 2010

image for Cops probe Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates captured great aunt' claims
Thompson and Venables: only known adult photo

London - (Abduction Mess): The Jon Venables media storm has taken a startling new turn as police begin investigating former Bulger killer accomplice Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates' kidnap claims.

Muckers of the 27 year-old told told the Daily Cat Litter last week that 'Bobby' - as he's known these days - is worried about his Grandma's sister who's been captured by Somali pirates and is being held for ransom.

Great Aunt Dymphna Thompson-Brown disappeared off the East Africa coast while on a sightseeing cruise of the former British dependencies enroute to a wedding in Lamu.

Last week Thompson apparently begged his employer the Queen, whose Buckingham Palace stables he mucks out every day, to "intercede" with important heads of state "like President Zuma".

Thompson himself is barred from flying to the East African kleptocracy because of draconian parole licence rules.

A Foreign Orifice spokesman said today "WTF?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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