MINOT, North Dakota - The winner of the very first season on American Idol, Kelly Clarkson performed at Minot's The Damn It's Cold Palace Arena before a near sellout crowd.
Kelly was asked after her performance why she would have a black rap band The Fa Shizzle Chumpz as her opening band.
Clarkson shrugged her shoulders and replied that her talent agency, Bills Talent Agency of Culver City, California had booked the band based on the fact that they are paid $125 per performance.
Kelly pointed out that last month she wrote a song especially for The Fa Shizzle Chumpz entitled, "Yo What Da Eff It Be Bro."
Clarkson was asked about the fact that a lot of the media lately has been focusing on her weight gain. Kelly exploded and said that she has just about had enough of the press constantly writing about her weight.
The singer from Texas remarked that no one ever says anything about big old Wynonna Judd's weight, ugly hair color, or the fact that she collects rodeo clown bubblegum trading cards.
When asked if it really bothers her so much why doesn't she just go on a diet and lose say 60 or 90 pounds so that she can shut the media up.
Clarkson replied that the reason that she does not go on a diet is simply because she loves to eat the heck out of food and it sure beats sitting around in her fancy band tour bus and playing strip solitaire with herself.
Kelly pointed out that she is sick and tired of all of the fat jokes like 'she's so fat her ovaries have stretch marks,' and 'she's so fat she salts her food with potato chips.'
When asked what her immediate plans for the future are she grins and replies that if people do not stop saying and writing that she is fat, she is going to get out of the music business and never sing again.
SIDENOTE: An inside source says that Kelly Clarkson's tour bus is the only one in the music business that has its very own butcher on board.
