WHIRLPOOL, Washington - Madison Hickenkiss, the 39-year-old mother of 17 biological children has made national news as being the first American born woman to have her hoo-ha fall out, literally fall out of its moorings (so to speak).
Mrs. Hickenkiss, who stands 5 foot 4, and weighs 119 said that even after having 17 kids (all singles) she has never had any problem with either her weight or her lap thingy (her exact words honest).
She said that when she became pregnant with her 13th child her weight shot up all the way to 407 pounds. But Hickenkiss proudly boasts that within two months after giving birth her weight had gone back down to 119.
Mrs. Hickenkiss, who looks a lot like Britney Spears, except that she can't sing, said that after her 17th child her OB/GYN, her husband Corky, her mother-in-law Jobeth, and her next-door neighbor Woody, all suggested that she have labia majora-labia minora reduction correction surgery.
And although her insurance company Mutual Orgasm of Oxnard would not pay for it, Madison and Corky were able to raise the money for the operation through a neighborhood-wide grilled cheese sandwich sale. The sale netted them $38,917.
The rest of the money, $83, was donated by Maybelle Pryzbilla the manager of a local Jack-in-The Box.
When asked what convinced her to have the surgery Mrs. Hickenkiss got misty-eyed and said that it was the day she went into the bathroom to pee and as she pulled down her underwear she found one of her tonsils resting in the crotch of her size 5, nipple-pink panties.
She looked down at her Y region and instantly noticed that she could now clearly see her G-Spot without having to use a hand-held mirror. She simply froze.
Hickenkiss said that her husband was at work. So she called their next door neighbor Woody, who ran over, took about a dozen pictures of her twatalickus with his cell phone, picked her up, and carried her to her bed.
After taking about three dozen more or so highly explicit photographs Woody left.
Corky Hickenkiss was asked what he thought about his wife's unique affliction whose official medical term is Vagioouchipoochicus 6.
Mr. Hickenkiss, who is a veteran lumberjack, replied that it literally scares him all to hell. He said that one day last month, when he and "Poochie" as he affectionately calls his wife of 21 years, were getting all frisky and stuff, he suddenly looked down and noticed that "Corky Jr" was wearing what appeared to be a green sweater. He looked closer and found out that it was a piece of lettuce.
He stopped what he was "doing" got dressed and went into the kitchen to pour him a double shot of Southern Comfort and Johnny Walker Red.
Corky stated that it has gotten to where having sex with his wife is like going on a scavenger hunt. He smiled and said that just last night after their sparkin' session (intercourse) he noticed that "Corky Jr" had something stuck on his 'stomach.' He said he looked closer and darn if it wasn't a damn ovary.
The Estrogen Network has offered Mr. and Mrs. Hickenkiss and their family their own reality show. They plan on calling it Madison and Corky Plus 17 and the Crotch Cookie.