'Resigne': calls for Brown to go over letter to solder's mum

Funny story written by Simon Cockle

Tuesday, 10 November 2009


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'I carnt read that...' said Miss James

As the furious backclash continued over the 'hastilly-scrawlled letter' written by Gordon Brown to a grieving mum, some high-profile figures were sugesting that Brown should lose his job.

Jacqui James, whose son Jamie was killed in an explotion while on foot patrol in Afganistan, lead the calls for Brown to go. 'How can a man like him scrawl a letter to me about my son whose body is still not cold and not even get his name write?'

The letter, hasttily-scrawled by a man who went to a public school and should kno better, was crumpled up and thrown at Miss James' face while she was sitting on the toilet in her home. 'It's like a kick in the teeth for my son, but an ink kick to teeth made of paper,' she said.

Miss James, who incidentally did not read the whole letter as she has difficulty with cursive handwriting, said 'Everyone knows our surname is 'Janes' - it sounds nothing like James, and Gordon brown has nothing to do all day or so my knowledge of geo-political statesmen tell me. He should know our name. Or he should do now.'

Len The-Darkness-Out-There, 62, president of the War-War-All-Day-Long Society, commented 'Our boys are doing a grate job out there. Death is bad enough, but to have your name spelt wrong, well that's tantamount to being urinated on by doctors while they laugh at you. Or something.'

A book of condolensees has been set up by Miss James in the offices of the Sun newspaper. Entries so far include: 'Poor Jamie. Your always in are heart's and we will miss u lots love your sister Janie' and 'Dear Miss Jamies, sorry about the letter i sent u it was l8 and i had to attend priminsters question time in the morning sorry Gordon.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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