Lady Gaga, Bob Dylan Voted "Most Unattractive" at European NTV Awards

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

image for Lady Gaga, Bob Dylan Voted "Most Unattractive" at European NTV Awards
Lady Gaga without the benefit of a professional makeup artist.

Featuring the world history of music at the 2009 NTV European Music Awards, there were no surprises on stage in Berlin where beauty was as much a factor in voting as was talent. Two new voting categories caught many participants and audience members by surprise, having nothing to do with talent or with a beautiful video image.

First announced as the "lifetime" award for carrying the "Most Unattractive Image", Bob Dylan won the voting with a perpetual taste in clothing grunge, unkempt doo, and scruffy facial hair. More newsworthy perhaps was the selection of Lady Gaga as the first recipient of the new annual award for 2009.

No shock to the EMA audience or to anyone who has seen a Lady Gaga video, her selection as 2009's "Most Unattractive" might have been influenced by whoever does her hair and makeup. "Truly hideous", commented one audience member in the nosebleed section of the awards theater. Another male audience member said, "I'd have to chew my arm off to get away in the morning if I found myself next to her. That would have been after one night of serious tequila drinking".

Others disagree, giving the new pop star the benefit of the doubt on video image versus what she might look in real life. "No", says Bucky Weinstein former Jewish Rodeo Cowboy, now Lady Gaga's road manager. "She's not the Lotus Blossom many of her fans hope she might be, more like a dried up Carnation maybe.

2010 potential nominees for the "Most Unattractive" category include a spaced out, reality show Whitney Houston in the lifetime category, and Chris Brown for just being reportedly ugly towards his girlfriends.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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