Extreme breastfeeding event slammed as dangerous and irresponsible

Funny story written by Fergus McCarthy

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

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A storm of protest has greeted the announcement of the inaugural "Extreme Breast Feeding" World championships scheduled for August of next year.

Event organisers have described the week long festival as a celebration of the unbreakable bond between mother and child and a celebration of womanhood.

Children's rights campaigners have condemned the 'sport' as blatant child abuse and have called on all governments to arrest any woman who willingly participates in the competition, either the qualifiers or the finals regardless.

Women's rights activist Karen Curly fears that some women are being forced into extreme breast feeding competitions by ruthless east European betting syndicates. At one competition in Southern France earlier this year the winner of the 10,000 foot freefall single breast feed dive was discovered to have been a former colonel in the Russian Special forces. She was disqualified after a small tin of baby milk was found in her changing bag.

Ralph Cakewell, 3rd member of the international sports council condemned extreme breast feeding as dangerous and irresponsible.

The finals will be shown live on 'Mother and child' channel 473.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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