Witchdoctors Cleared In Love Potion Scandal
The entire United States of America, apparently after an unexplained amount of indifference accumulated in the lower atmosphere, has ruled that the World WitchCraft Foundation is innocent of all charges that their famed love potions may have been tai...Read full story
Peruvian government enforces trade barriers
The government of Peru has introduced strict economic sanctions against itself. The South American republic has placed tariffs on its own steel, textiles and food, with all signs indicating that more are to follow. In a strongly-worded speech,...Read full story
Drunken Sailors To Protest Against Their Removal From Nursery Rhyme
A mass demonstration by Drunken Sailors has been planned after key lyrics were removed from a nursery rhyme by a government-funded books project, after they were deemed "offensive". The Bookstart charity claims the words "Drunken Sailor", and the...Read full story
New use for VHS recorders
A new use for VHS cassette players/recorders was discovered yesterday. They can now be used as demon catchers. The devices each have a button on the remote control that no-one knows what it is for. It is this button that can be used to trap demons...Read full story
Deal or No Deal to feature new "explosive" twist
In an new attempt to boost ratings, a new feature has been introduced to the to the popular, but waning show, "Deal or No Deal". The box containing the "1p", will now also contain a device which when the box is opened by one of the contestants, wi...Read full story
New Shakespeare play discovered
The British Museum has today confirmed that a parchment that was discovered in an attic in a house in Stratford Upon Avon, is in fact an play that had to this point never been read, written by William Shakespeare. The spokesman for the museum conf...Read full story
President Hava Nodinnajaquet of Iran to receive Nobel prize
It was announced today that President Hava Nodinnajaquet of Iran is to receive the Nobel Prize next month. President Hava Nodinnajaquet - sometimes mistaken for an ignorant, warmongering, nuclear-obsessed peasant called Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - when...Read full story
President Obama Says Current Recession Will Become 'A Disaster'
US President Barack Obama has said the contraction of the US economy in the final quarter of 2008 will become "a disaster" for the country. Speaking at the White House, he also said that what had started out as 'a blip', had first become a slump,...Read full story
California Woman With Eight Babies, "Never Again!"
The woman who gave birth to octuplets this past week has six other children born a little over a year ago and never expected to have eight more when she took fertility treatment, her mother said. Angela Saleman said her daughter expects a big cha...Read full story
Ferguson selects himself to play upfront for Man United
In the latest example of the mind games that Sir Alex Ferguson is willing to play with his opponents in the Premiership, he has selected himself as a lone striker for the Manchester United vs Everton match this weekend. In what is being seen as a...Read full story
Simon & Shyster to Publish Bush Cookbook "Recipes for Disaster"
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former President Bush signed a deal with Simon and Shyster to publish Recipes for Disaster, an eagerly awaited cookbook focusing on notable dishes from his administration. "If you don't 'stay the course,' at least stay for the Mai...Read full story
Yusuf Raza Gilani says "Pakistan is not a failed state, only D-minus - we are on life-support and hope the US won't pull the plug. We are India's friend and with friends like us why does India need enemies"
DAVOS - Pakistani PM Yusuf Raza Gilani, known for his mangling of the English language once again stood before the international media in what is becoming Pakistan's weekly "Progress Report to the world".. Wringing his hands and whining that it...Read full story
Brown: Toxic assets taste 'great'
The government is set to buy up toxic assets from UK banks and sell them to the public as confectionery. Treasury sources close to the deal explained uncertainty in the markets had created unease over any mortgage-backed assets - but most were pro...Read full story
UK "Crossroads" claim
The famous story of Robert Johnson (the guitarist who sold his soul to the devil for the ability to play blues at a crossroads in Rosedale, Mississippi in 1930), now has a British counterpart. It transpires that Tony Osmond, lead guitarist with The Barron Knights, had a similar experience on the junction of the B3192 Exeter Road and Luscombe Hill, near Teignmouth Golf Course, outside Dawlish in...Read full story
Concern over Anneka Rice TV comeback
The BBC has plunged into fresh controversy today at the unveiling of their summer TV schedule. Amongst the many middle class domestic based family sitcoms that are to be aired is also the new celebrity show 'Dancing On Rice'. In the show the se...Read full story
Coldplay to play Moon
Self proclaimed "Super Band" Coldplay, announced that they intend to be the first band to play on the moon today. Speaking at a press conference, Chris Martin announced the concert, and described it as another "World shattering historic moment in...Read full story
$4B in Bailout Earmarked for Newly Named Obama Public Streets and Buildings!
USA/ Compiled AP Reports - The Democratic Congress today in a partisan party vote, set aside over $4b in Bail Out funds in response to overwhelming pleas from State Governments that they needed the money for new signs dedicating taxpayer funded publi...Read full story
Pelosi Deports California Woman for Having "too many children" !
San Francisco,CA/ Office of Sexual Promiscuity - House Speaker Nancy Pelosi invoked all her vindictive power today to punish a constituent who recently had Octuplets, adding to her existing family of 6 , by sending her back to Bangladesh. Pelosi cal...Read full story
Obama To Wall Street: Bonuses To Be Paid In Pennies
(Washington, D.C.) A day after President Obama read an article that Wall Street bankers paid themselves 18 billion dollars in bonuses out of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), funds allocated to open up lending and credit, the President is pro...Read full story
Exxon-Mobil Plans To Buy Europe
BEVERLY HILLS, California - The Exxon-Mobil Corporation has just announced that its 2008 profits of $45.2 billion have broken the all-time world's record (again!). CEO Grover Aronofsky-Oliveback stated that his company made a damn good profit, but...Read full story
Bill Oddie Abandons baby birds
The world's most famous twitcher and beard wearer, Bill Oddie, has announced that he will not be presenting the next series of the BBC's little watched program Springwatch, and the search is on for a replacement. "At first it was a lark, but latel...Read full story
Dubai Builds Tower Of Babel
Dubai, UAE -- An ancient legend is coming to life in this tiny emirate. The Tower Of Babel is under construction on the shores of the Persian Gulf. The Tower will be 5433 cubits and 2 palms high (about 1.5 miles) when completed. The Tower of Babe...Read full story
Kevin Nolan Goes Mental
Doctors at Bolton General Hospital have this afternoon confirmed reports that Kevin Nolan, the Bolton Wanderers midfielder and captain, has gone absolutely stark, raving bonkers. Nolan, it was announced this morning, had just joined Newcastle Unit...Read full story
Clarkson Makes US Chart History
All round entertainer Jeremy Clarkson has made the highest entry on a debut single in the US charts. His single, Your Life Would Suck Without Me, entered the number one slot after it was downloaded by over a billion Americans. Clarkson, a long-...Read full story
Woman Avoids Attack With Cheque
A woman saved herself from being assaulted by writing her attacker a cheque for £20,000. But her would-be rapist Martin Cartwright, 49, was caught when he tried to pay the cheque into a bank, telling cashiers that he had won the lottery. Which...Read full story
Blago Kicked out of Illinois-Granted Asylum in Massachusetts!
Boston,MA/ Democrat Bailout Update/Developing - Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevitch, minutes after it was announced he had been impeached by unanimous vote of State Senators, headed a cavalcade leaving town and headed to the Bay State where h...Read full story
Arse' On Arsh'
"Are you an Arsenal fan? Tired of wondering whether or not your team will secure the talents of the mercurial Russian? Wondering why your team hasn't made any improvements during the course of the January 2009 transfer window? Well, wonder no more...presenting, Arse' on Arsh'!" Gael Force: "Good morning Arsene, great to have you here, but let's not waste any of your precious time, I'm sure you'...Read full story
Oldham Man Jailed For Crap Chat Up Lines
Oldham Man Jerome P Jerome of Chadderton was sentenced to eighteen months hard labour by Oldham magistrates for the crime of having crap chat up lines. A multitude of Oldham women appeared in court to testify against the crap puller. "He were r...Read full story
Dear Duff, I'm at my wits' end and don't know who to turn to. I suspect that my wife, Georgina, is in fact an alien visiting Earth from a far-distant galaxy where no man has boldly gone before. It's the little things she does that give it away, like for example, gripping the bars of the electric fire with her bare hands. She says that it's just to help her circulation during these cold Janua...Read full story
Drug Alert! Drug Alert!
A new drug has been made in a laboratory pretty recently. A drug that looks somewhat like marijuana. The drug has already hit the streets and attracted over 10,000 people and killed nearly all of those 10,000 people! Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, is...Read full story
December Mortgage Figures Show 'Recovery'
The financial sector has hailed the first green shoots of recovery, following the surprise announcement that mortgage approvals had unexpectedly risen for December 2008. The rise, announced by the Bank of England today, shows that mortgage lending...Read full story
Woman encountering over-puberty
Very bad news awaits a woman who is encountering over-puberty after a puberty check to make sure she is fine in terms of puberty. 18 year old Julia Vagina, is encountering puberty which is turning out to be a horrible and embarrassing encounter fo...Read full story
Fatal shooting rocks world
News of a fatal shooting has rocked Smurf village. Architect Smurf was found slumped over his draft board early yesterday. Detective Smurf was called to the scene by Woodland Smurf who had visited Architect Smurf in order to design his new mushroom h...Read full story
Railroad crossing running over
The headline mentions "Railroad crossing running over". It may sound what the title says but it is not about what you are about to read. The Railroad Crossing at Cooper Street, nearest to Epping Railway Station, has been responsible for a run-over...Read full story
Pamela Anderson Reveals Secret Crush On President Obama
MALIBU BEACH, California - Pamela Anderson, noted actress, glamour model, and sex symbol has revealed that she has had a secret crush on Barack Obama for almost a year. Anderson said that she wanted to get this secret off of her ample chest before...Read full story
Bill Gates Starts New Philanthropy to Aid Computer Businesses Crushed By Microsoft
Bill Gates Foundation has announced a new philanthropic cause- to help computer companies crushed by Microsoft. Making Microsoft into the virtual monopoly that it is in the computer world entailed upending many smaller competitors along the way by un...Read full story
Loch Ness - An elderly couple taking a holiday in Northern Europe this month are taking home some memories, and a picture of the Loch Ness Monster, affectionately known as "Nessie." While posing at a scenic area beside the road for picture, Martin...Read full story
Detroit Comes Up With Non-polluting, Alternative Energy, Inexpensive Vehicle That Will End Unemployment - Miracles Do Happen!
Just when things were looking the blackest for US automakers they have united together and come up with a new product to pull themselves out of their financial slump. Not only that, but their new product is also non-carbon based, non polluting, uses...Read full story
Railroad engineer hunts Australia's railway stations
A crazy railroad engineer, Alex Remins, is found hunting down throughout Australia's Epping Railway line. Recently, Police of Victoria have been receiving countless number of reports mentioning about an "aggressive train monster". He was found tak...Read full story
Dear Uncle Aspartame: Is aspartame bad for me?
DEAR Uncle Aspartame, For many years I have used Aparatame to sweeten my grits instead of sugar. I love it so much and it makes me feel so good. People have me scared out of my noddle with the stories they tell me about how dangerous aspartame is. How can our government allow the public to use something so deadly? The same people tell me the government gets kickbacks from the maker's of a...Read full story
Iceland Will Join EU as Major Supplier of Ice Cubes
In the age of global warming, cocktail slurping EU'ers have spent a hot summer and a tepid winter in search of really cold drinks. When the frosty beverage loving Europeans reach their limit with lukewarm liquids, they began clamoring for a new suppl...Read full story
British Football is Found to Abound with Gay Blades
Most researchers suggest that the average human community has about 2 to 10 per cent homosexual members. The House of Lords of course was exempted from the study because of its disproportionate collection of poofs and lifelong fruits. Researche...Read full story
WWCF Supplied Tainted Love Potions
Chicago, IL. - On the heels of the unanimous impeachment of Rod Blagojevich, the ex-Governor filed a class action suit against the World WitchCraft Foundation, charging them with supplying love potions that were tainted with various other emotions, r...Read full story
US Repubs Vanish; Could it Be the Rapture?
Gallop polls report that only five states' citizens identify as Republicans. Four are Mormon strongholds and the fifth favors hometown queen Sarah Palin. The poll, which featured a gigantic sample, seems to suggest that the solid south has evapor...Read full story
Obama relaxes White House dress code: Now it's "TGIF", everyday!
Washington, DC - As further poof that change has really come to the White House, President Barack Obama announced today that he is introducing 'Thank God It's Friday' business causal dress, everyday. The Obama administration ushers in the new dre...Read full story
Illinois governor guilty of abuse; eBay violations; pandering to the Dark Side
Rod Blagojevich has been ousted as Illinois governor after being convicted of going over to the Dark Side, and subsequently using his gubernatorial and eBay Seller powers for Evil Intent. He is also accused of having the lowest eBay Feedback Rat...Read full story
Bush admits presidency was "A joke that got out of hand."
Former President George W Bush has released a press statement admitting his entire presidency was a protracted practical joke. The shocking admission came after Bush was spotted exiting the well known Betty Ford rehab centre late Friday evening. I...Read full story
Palm Pregnancy Warning
Medical doctors throughout the world today are mystified over what has been described as the first pregnancy caused by masturbation. News of the discovery traveled like wildfire and had the town's tongues wagging furiously about the allegation. Th...Read full story
Obama Announces "Tough New Laws" To Protect Himself!
New measures to combat Federal offences against the USA come into effect tomorrow! Welcoming the reforms in the Obama Offences Law (2004) that applies to Illinois, Judge Illy Smudge said; "The new offence of spoof writing provides for a vital new...Read full story
This Spoof.com reporter was today approached by a hoodie youth who told me that he had some really profound things to say. Never one to miss out on a potential opportunity I told him to go ahead. "Just imagine," he said. "That there's no heaven...Read full story
Liverpool Star Admits He's a Hobbit
Liverpool players, and officials were shocked when Brazilian international Lucas Levia, broke down halfway through training at Melwood, and admitted he was a hobbit. After attempting to clear the ball on three occassions and hitting air instead, t...Read full story