Railroad crossing running over

Funny story written by Australian News Reporter

Friday, 30 January 2009

image for Railroad crossing running over
Railway crossing

The headline mentions "Railroad crossing running over". It may sound what the title says but it is not about what you are about to read.

The Railroad Crossing at Cooper Street, nearest to Epping Railway Station, has been responsible for a run-over of a town local, Georgia Kondas.

Family members of Georgia's family were extremely terrified and all burst into tears. Since the family has no money enough for a funeral, that 'makes things a 'buncha worse'. Friends of Georgia were also extremely emotional about the incident and called for a funeral for free but the services declined giving them the free funeral.

We interviewed a witness of this scenario who always crosses the Cooper Street Crossing, Shane Retmares.

"I have been using the Cooper Street crossing since the '70's or the '80's and since then, I have NEVER ever seen a single person get run over by an oncoming train. To be honest, I nearly got run over in my car and on foot due to some stupid people who lifted up the railroad crossing barriers. I didn't see the incident but around that time, I was around 2 streets away from the station. Ask someone who lives near the crossing."

We also interviewed a witness who was right near her when she got run over, Steve Networths.
"I was on my way to work for my night shift at around 6:00PM. I was at the crossing and this innocent little girl was walking slowly and she was right next to my car and she looked somewhat like a 9-10 year old but when the barriers flipped down she continued walking anyway and then BAM! She was perished."

Victorian Minister of Public Transport, Lynne Kosky, said "This is beyond a very upsetting moment to human beings close to her including her family and friends. I am now going to give out railroad barriers that stay down and never go back up. I am going to make a road around the tracks with no barrier. Whether you like it or not, tough luck. I am the minister, you're my children. Hahahaha."

Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, saw the incident as a complete joke with no evidence. The Ministers were not so happy about his comment towards the incident as they took it as a serious incident with real evidence off such nice human beings.

Police officers from the Epping Police Station are, starting from today, going to search very thorougly for evidence and will only leave with evidence instead of 'a time waster finding nothing whether it's useless or none'.

We will report this on the Channel Ten News only at 5:00PM tomorrow on Channel Ten.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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