Illinois governor guilty of abuse; eBay violations; pandering to the Dark Side

Funny story written by Tragic Rabbit

Friday, 30 January 2009

image for Illinois governor guilty of abuse; eBay violations; pandering to the Dark Side
Obama's old seat generated 'sky-high' bids.

Rod Blagojevich has been ousted as Illinois governor after being convicted of going over to the Dark Side, and subsequently using his gubernatorial and eBay Seller powers for Evil Intent.

He is also accused of having the lowest eBay Feedback Rating of any United States Senator.

Mr Blagojevich said he was "saddened and disappointed" by the verdict but "not at all surprised" and would fight to clear his name, or at least to simplify the spelling.

Senators voted 59-0 against him after an impeachment hearing, despite his claim that he had "done nothing wrong" and there was no evidence of a crime.

"A tidy criminal can still be a guilty criminal," one Senate spokesman told reporters.

Blagojevich was charged with trying to sell the actual historic swivel Senate seat vacated by fellow Jedi Barack Obama when he (historically) became the first African-American to be hysterically elected an Historic President.

The plush Office Depot clearance-sale historic seat was discovered to be listed on eBay complete with an authentic "There is no 'try', there is only 'do'" Obama autograph and had already generated a fierce bidding war.

The eBay listing has been removed.

Mr Blagojevich was stripped of his Jedi knighthood and banned from holding public office in the known universe during his lifetime.

He may nevertheless continue hawking historic memorabilia related to the historic election and historic inauguration of Barack Obama to the presidency - call 555-2121 for information on how you too can pay off your mortgage by selling Obamarama keepsakes, trinkets, tee-shirts and bobble-head dolls.

No other Jedi has ever been impeached, though more than a few have been defrocked.

Whereabouts of the historic plush autographed swivel chair are unknown.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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