A new use for VHS cassette players/recorders was discovered yesterday. They can now be used as demon catchers. The devices each have a button on the remote control that no-one knows what it is for. It is this button that can be used to trap demons, goblins or indeed Boris Johnson within a 2 mile radius.
The theory itself was originally claimed by the makers of Ghostbusters, but they calimed that it should be used to catch ghosts. This has proved unsuccessful as 14 transvestites from Glasgow trid to catch the ghost of Walter Raleigh in a Little Chef outside York.
The Vatican Scientists have refused to comment on the discovery so far, however it is known that they have unleashed a new team of exorcists who were former electronic technicians.
Our insider has said; "This new discovery makes it easy to trap demons and other evil forces into the cassette player. You can use a blank tape, or tape over "The Titanic", it was crap anyway."
Howver, it is not advised to be watching "Salem's Lot" at the time of entrapment, as this may well scare the bejesus out of you.
Boris Johnson, (the half man-half mongrel) is said to be in hiding, as the VHS machines can capture him as well.
People are advised to stay indoors and to report any sightings of devilment, maliciousness, mischeif or piss-taking to the VHS team on "0800 BETAMAX SUCKS" or fax information to "0800 PADDY WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG". You can also look up the website, www.vhs-players-can-now-be-used-for-the-capture-of-evil-or- enchanted-spirits-except-angry-dwarves-because-you-can-bully-them
Please, press that button on your remote today.