Blago Kicked out of Illinois-Granted Asylum in Massachusetts!

Funny story written by Morse

Friday, 30 January 2009

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O'Blago Reinvents Himself:Granted Asylum in Massachusetts!

Boston,MA/ Democrat Bailout Update/Developing - Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevitch, minutes after it was announced he had been impeached by unanimous vote of State Senators, headed a cavalcade leaving town and headed to the Bay State where he had been granted Political Asylum.

The procession was led by two Massachusetts State police in unmarked Cadillac Escalades, a Boston Fire Chief from Dorchester in a HAZMAT vehicle,followed by the Governor in a $1.5M Provost motor home, and trailed by 2 long distance Mayflower Vans which held the Governor's personal effects, and a few he had spirited out of his office during the weeks he was under siege.

The former Governor's party had earlier been granted a state permit allowing them to move HAZARDOUS WASTE from the state to an approved TOXIC WASTE DUMP, hence the HAZMAT vehicle.

Beltway insiders say the deal was arranged by Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel in an effort to "buy off" Blago from continuing to plead his innocence for corruption crimes, possibly leading up to embarrassing revelations enveloping the White House and threatening their new policy of Political Transparency.

In exchange, Massachusetts received TOXIC WASTE credits which can be cashed in for TARP funds, and the governor, Deval Patrick, would now receive a by-line, and financial remuneration for writing President O'Bama's speeches.

Massachusetts Political Commentator Howie Carr , formerly on Whitey Bolger's hit list for his continued pounding of Massachusetts state corruption issues smugly commented "I told you so!"

Carr correctly reported that last week the Governor had changed his name to O'Blagojevich, as one of the conditions of his being granted Political Asylum.
Rumors are flying that O'Blago was now eligible for the $300k position to be either the head of the Boston Firefighters Union, Head of the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority, or a traffic controller at Hyannis Regional Airport.

Meanwhile on Beacon Street, a welcoming committee of convicted or indicted Democratic Co-Conspirators were forming to greet the disgraced politician, and bring him into "THE FAMILY"

Included in the welcoming procession was former state Senator Dianne Wilkerson, caught on camera stuffing $23k into her bra for granting liquor licenses, Sen. James Mazilli who resigned after sexually accosting 4 female constituents, and the last two convicted felons who happened to hold the office of Speaker of the House, Tom Finneran and Charles Flaherty. Neither did jail time, a continuation of the Christian Rehab Program Massachusetts offers to convicted felons and child predators.

The cavalcade was temporarily halted at The Big Dig Tunnel, as Turnpike Authorities bailed out 10,000 gallons of water from the $18B tunnel, and removed the debris from more ceiling tiles that had fallen during the night.

O'Blago said he was happy to leave Illinois, calling it a "cesspool" of political corruption with a "lynch mob" mentality, and move to a more "user friendly" environment. He added he was looking forward to leading the St. Patrick's Day parade, and hoped Governor Patrick could recommend a good hair stylist.

O'Blago said his first priority was to find out where he got paid, discuss his benefit package and arrange for direct deposits to his account. The former Governor said he would continue to fund his retirement account from "outside interests."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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