Obama Finds Chewing Gum Under Oval Office Desk

Funny story: Obama Finds Chewing Gum Under Oval Office Desk

Barack Obama strolled (well, more of a strut) into the Oval Office for the first time and tried out his chair behind the President's Desk. As he grabbed the front of the Resolute desk to pull the chair forward, however, his face changed and his eyes...

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Obama Inauguration Panders to Evangelists, Terrorists, Centrists

Funny story: Obama Inauguration Panders to Evangelists, Terrorists, Centrists

In order to maintain his average rate of supporting centrist policies, Obama has countered the invitation of Pastor Rick Warren, an evangelist who believes marriage can only be between a man and a woman, with an invitation to Ingrid Mattson, Presiden...

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Grape Drink Powder is Flavor of Choice for Homicidal Cult Leaders

Funny story: Grape Drink Powder is Flavor of Choice for Homicidal Cult Leaders

The Reverend Jim Jones used it in the People's Temple deaths in Guyana in November of 1978. The Heaven's Gate cult had a pitcher of it cooling in the refrigerator when they all committed suicide to travel on the Hale Bopp comet in 1997. David Kores...

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Nancy Pelosi Pole Dances in Inaugural Parade

Funny story: Nancy Pelosi Pole Dances in Inaugural Parade

Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi of California made the mistake of giving away all of her tickets to the Inagural Parade and did not save any for herself. In a move speaking of her enterprising and inventive nature, however, Pelosi decid...

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Obama Sends $25 Billion of Bail Out Money To Oprah Winfrey

Funny story: Obama Sends $25 Billion of Bail Out Money To Oprah Winfrey

The historic $750 billion in bail out money will be spent to help Ford, GM, and .... Oprah Winfrey. In a move that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Ried said that they will be sure to pass, new President Barack Obama has earmarked $25 billion dollars for talk...

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Top Poet Dug Up For The Nation

Funny story: Top Poet Dug Up For The Nation

Months before the Eurovision Song Contest has even begun to aggravate the annual bowel symptoms, the losing UK entry is about to be penned by none other than Alfred Lord Tennyson. With the help of specialist sponsors Android Rubber, a Westminster...

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Loving Couple Have Big Row - Father In Law Baffled

Funny story: Loving Couple Have Big Row - Father In Law Baffled

Today, a really loving couple had a big argument, over, basically nothing. The man, an illegal imigrant from Texas, said that his wife was to blame. The woman, said that her husband was to blame. The kids, blissfully unaware said that it wasn't th...

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Biden's Wife Stuns Oprah Audience with Hillary Revelation: Sec. of State Post "sloppy seconds"

Funny story: Biden's Wife Stuns Oprah Audience with Hillary Revelation: Sec. of State Post "sloppy seconds"

Chicago,Il, Soap Oprah Times - "Jilly" Biden, wife of VP Elect Joe "loose cannon" Biden, stunned Oprah and her listeners recently when she revealed Hillary Clinton only got the Secretary of State Post because "Joey" didn't want it! According to Mr...

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"Casa Blanca" remake of 40's Iconic Movie to be released on 20th January

Funny story: "Casa Blanca" remake of 40's Iconic Movie to be released on 20th January

With Barack Obama playing Rick Blaine, the leading role made famous by Humphrey Bogart, as a cynical New American President in the Casa Blanca. "Change we must!" is his opening line. Ugarte (Veep Biden), a petty criminal, arrives in Rick's clu...

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Local Man Sues Over "Fun Size" Candy Bar Claim

Funny story: Local Man Sues Over "Fun Size" Candy Bar Claim

An area man filed a suit today claiming false advertising on miniature "Fun Size" candy bars. Thomas Livingston, a 34 year-old self-proclaimed "Stars Wars Dragon Master", claims the title is misleading. "Who do they think they're fooling? Ther...

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Woman Ran Over By Getaway Car, Three Times

Funny story: Woman Ran Over By Getaway Car, Three Times

Authorities in Pensacola, Florida are looking for a shoplifter who was run over three different times by her getaway car after stealing $1,200 worth of designer purses from a Pensacola store. A T.J. Maxx security guard told police she saw a woman...

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REALLY Big TV Proves Nearly Fatal

Funny story: REALLY Big TV Proves Nearly Fatal

Jon Mottentot was meeting with an adjuster today to go through what remained of his parents' Leistercestershire home. For their fiftieth anniversary, he had contracted with an electronics firm to design and install a 4m television in their home.

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Charles Barkley Signed By The Oklahoma City Thunder

Funny story: Charles Barkley Signed By The Oklahoma City Thunder

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma - The struggling Oklahoma City Thunder of the NBA who are (8-34) are to the point of desperation. Coach Scott Brooks, upon the recommendation of one of his players, Chucky Atkins has decided to sign TNT sports personality a...

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Thai Kangaroo Court

Funny story: Thai Kangaroo Court

An Australian writer was sentenced to a long term in jail by a Thai court yesterday after he pleaded guilty to insulting Thailand's revered royal family in a novel, a judge said. John Andrews appeared in a Bangkok court wearing a bright orange pri...

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Sir Alex Ferguson In Turd Slur

Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson In Turd Slur

Local rivalries can be found wherever you look in football, but nowhere is the rivalry more intense than in Manchester, where United and City perpetually compete with each other for the glory. For a long time now, it's been United that have held...

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Intl Sex Workers Union answers Obama's call for National Day of Service

Funny story: Intl Sex Workers Union answers Obama's call for National Day of Service

Washington, DC - In honor of Obama's call for a national day of service, the International Sex Workers Union has announced that it will provide call girl escort services to any Washingtonian free of charge. "We voted on the measure and it was nea...

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New "Syntax" Announced

Funny story: New "Syntax" Announced

In a constant effort to augment revenues and to solve a multitude of social problems, New Jersey officials today announced the implementation of a new "Syntax." "The way this works," the Governor proudly explained, "is that anytime some one makes a s...

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Just In: Off-Screen Romance for Twilight

Funny story: Just In: Off-Screen Romance for Twilight

Sources confirmed today what the rumor mill has been saying for weeks: there was indeed an off-screen tryst between Twilight's Charlie Swan and Victoria. "They caught each other's eyes, and seemed taken with each other from the moment they met," s...

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Obama Inauguration Schedule Leaked

Funny story: Obama Inauguration Schedule Leaked

A leaked copy of President-Elect Barack Obama's schedule for his Inauguration on January 20th has revealed some of the events in which he will be taking a key role. Prior to the ceremony itself, the President-Elect is to part the waters of the Pot...

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"Lost In Space" Robot Dies!

Funny story: "Lost In Space" Robot Dies!

The man who fit inside of the robot on Lost In Space, Bob May, has passed away at 69. The veteran actor passed of congestive heart failure on Sunday, his daughter announced. Despite providing the robot's antics for the 1960s kid classic Lost In...

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New computer virus worse than aftermath of an Amy Winehouse session

Funny story: New computer virus worse than aftermath of an Amy Winehouse session

A new computer virus has been discovered which is potentially more lethal than a night out with Amy Winehouse. The new virus, called "Atchoo" actually infects computers with winter flu, leaving them sneezing profusely, with blocked disk drives and...

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Survey Finds American Catholic Priests Against the Norm

Funny story: Survey Finds American Catholic Priests Against the Norm

A survey by the Universidad de Roma found that American Priests do not follow Catholic norms. While the Catholic ministers from the United States seem to be constatntly in the news for their sexual exploits and conquests of little boys, the average...

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Barack Obama Trading Cards Hot!

Funny story: Barack Obama Trading Cards Hot!

First it was comic books, now there's Barack Obama Trading Cards! Yep, our new president is the subject of collectible cards. The cards, including one as a young basketball player in Hawaii, one handing his half-brother his $12 for 2009 and one...

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O'Bama Two Faced Coin Most Popular Commemorative!

Funny story: O'Bama Two Faced Coin Most Popular Commemorative!

Beijing,China/ Toxic Junk Export News - Despite massive infusions of cash into the sagging US economy, the biggest STIMULUS appears to be the unprecedented outpouring of cash to snap up anything dealing with the Coronation of Barry O'Bama, the Iris...

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Queen's investment portfolio relegated to junk bond status as royal bank bombs

Funny story: Queen's investment portfolio relegated to junk bond status as royal bank bombs

London - (Royal Ass Mess): Royal bankers Cunts & Co are to be declared bankrupt and all Puppet Monarchy accounts ditched as toxic waste following the collapse of parent company Royal Bank of Snotland (RBS). RBS took over the ailing royal bank...

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UFO cloud over Prince of Wales

Funny story: UFO cloud over Prince of Wales

Clarence House - (Tin Foil Hat Mess): A Zyklon B-powered 'flying saucer' has been spotted hovering over Prince Charles during a furtive visit to the Three Newts pub on the Dyfi Estuary near Aberystwyth according to MoD sources. The craft 'looked a...

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Environmentalists to Sue Over New York Plane Crash

Funny story: Environmentalists to Sue Over New York Plane Crash

An environmentalist group have wasted no time issuing a writ against the pilot of the downed US Airlines aeroplane that crashed into the Hudson River. The plane's pilot, Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, was hailed by passengers as a hero, but environ...

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Bank Launches New "Buy Forget" Mortgage

Funny story: Bank Launches New "Buy Forget" Mortgage

Buoyed by news that the Newcastle Stone bank is to be relaunched as a "Good Bank" as part of the government's efforts to stimulate lending, the lender today announced it's latest innovative product. "You've all heard of the so-called Buy-to-Let mo...

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Man City Sign Cack By Mistake

Funny story: Man City Sign Cack By Mistake

In an easily explained mix up over names Mark Hughes elderly secretary, Edith Miggins, 72, has mistakenly tabled an offer of £107 million pounds to AC Milan for Cack. Not surprisingly, Milan telexed right back to say that their offer had been acce...

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'Barackobama' Tops Newsreaders Record

Funny story: 'Barackobama' Tops Newsreaders Record

World newsreaders, competing for the prestigious Onomatopoeic Awards, have now said 'Barackobama' more than 700,000,000,000 times. This tops the previous record of 687,384,107,226 times that the word 'Kalashnikov' has been uttered on air. A spokes...

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PM and Chancellor to Join Magic Circle

Funny story: PM and Chancellor to Join Magic Circle

Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling have been invited to become members of the prestigious Magic Circle, the UK's 'secret society' for top magicians. Magic Circle President Ali Bongo said that the invitation to the PM and Chancellor was in recogniti...

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Most depressing day of year to become bank holiday

Funny story: Most depressing day of year to become bank holiday

Gordon Brown has announced the results of an on line survey to find England's next bank holiday. There were several dates up for grabs, with the Monday nearest to Armistice Day the hot favourite to get the Public Holiday treatment and bring Englan...

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FAA to make it offical all Birds have to wear Transponders

Funny story: FAA to make it offical all Birds have to wear Transponders

Because of the recent crash of US Airways Flight 1549 into the Hudson river and the probability that it was caused by a bird strike, all birds, including pigeons, are to be outfitted with a portable transponder, allowing them to be tracked by air tra...

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Gravity "hot-spots" discovered

Funny story: Gravity "hot-spots" discovered

A team from the University of Norwich have completed a four-year study into gravity and have discovered 12 "gravity hot spots" in the British Isles. In these areas, gravity appears to be stronger than "standard" gravity. British Gravity, long rec...

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Prop 8 and the Donors Who Wish Not Speak their Names

Funny story: Prop 8 and the Donors Who Wish Not Speak their Names

Though political donations are a matter of the public record, many of the financial supporters of California's Gay hate Prop 8 would like to remain anonymous. Investigators into the heavily bankrolled campaign against gay marriage are discovering...

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Mod Squad Revived to Investigate Racism among Royals and the Army too

Funny story: Mod Squad Revived to Investigate Racism among Royals and the Army too

The MoD Squad from 60's TV have been called up to look into the suspicious appearance of racial intolerance in the armed forces and the Royals. Link, Julie and pete, the multuiracial and sexually ambivalent trio seem to be the perfect team of crime f...

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Obama Changes His Name to Abie Baby

Funny story: Obama Changes His Name to Abie Baby

In a move that critics think might be taking the Lincoln role model a bit too far, Barack Obama has officially changed his name to Abie Baby. The decision seems to have been prefigured by significant evidence: Hanging around the Lincoln Memorial a...

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Michael Barrymore to star in reality show

Funny story: Michael Barrymore to star in reality show

Michael Barrymore is to star in a new reality show - back on our screens for the first time in 3 years. Canadian Cable channel ZXR Yukon have signed the star for a series of 13 programmes aimed at raising his profile at home and abroad. The progr...

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Health Department to issue warnings on rota basis

Funny story: Health Department to issue warnings on rota basis

The Department of Health has announced that from March 1st 2009, health warnings for certain foods and drinks will be issued on a rota basis to save time. For example, during March butter will be bad for you, but good all April, bad again May etc. Re...

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Israelis attack Manchester

Israeli forces last night began a bombardment of Manchester, killing at least 3000 Mancunians, including many hundreds of women and children. By 2am today, they had taken control of the City Of Manchester Stadium, saying they intended to install Avra...

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Hudson River airplane crash debris points to Lawn Chair Balloonist as the cause

Funny story: Hudson River airplane crash debris points to Lawn Chair Balloonist as the cause

New York, New York - Like Icarus who sailed too close to the Sun on wings partially composed of wax that melted, the Lawn Chair Balloonist so too journeyed too close to the Sun. Only instead of crashing into the sea like Icarus, it is believed the la...

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Sources confirm existence of man who hasn't seen Paris Hilton naked

Funny story: Sources confirm existence of man who hasn't seen Paris Hilton naked

Spring Hills, MI - After months of bizarre speculation it has been confirmed that there is, in fact, a reportedly heterosexual man who has not (yet) seen Paris Hilton Naked. Darrin Thorne a 33-year-old Spring Hills, Michigan resident, who supposedly...

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Worker falls into vat of Boswellox

Funny story: Worker falls into vat of Boswellox

There was consternation and alarm today at a cosmetics factory when a worker fell into a vat containing 3,000 gallons of Boswellox. Luckily the substance is non-existant, just one of hundreds of made-up ingredients used by the 30-billion-pounds-a-yea...

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Prince Phillip in "pisshole" gaff

Funny story: Prince Phillip in "pisshole" gaff

Prince Phillip was today embroiled in yet another "royal gaff" when he was overheard to describe the North of England as a "pisshole". The outspoken 82-year-old was talking at a private dinner to Jaswinder Singh, Sikh Council leader, totally unaw...

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Printer of "Monopoly Money" goes bust

Funny story: Printer of "Monopoly Money" goes bust

J. Parslow and Sons, for 48 years printers of "Monopoly" money, have called in administrators after reporting 3-month losses. It is believed that the boardgame market has seen falls of between 18% and 24% in the pre-Christmas period, their worst figu...

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Government to record database of ice-cream van tunes

Funny story: Government to record database of ice-cream van tunes

The British Government, in a 30-million pound initiative, is to make a database of ice-cream van music. Department of Eurofun spokesman Eric Tie, speaking outside the Department's new 16-storey office on Millbank, said that he was glad the Govern...

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