Flashing Teen Looked Very Familiar, Say Motorists
A girl in her teens was nearly ran over by a car yesterday near Nashville, Tennessee after flashing her breasts at passing cars. "She was smashed, I'm sure", stated Harvey Bratcher from nearby Goodlettsville. "I was on my way home and there were c...
Read full storySuzanne Somers To Hang Like A Bat, Get New Type Face-Lift
Anti-aging marvel, Suzanne Somers is getting a face-lift, but with some bizarre new procedure utilizing stem cells and a full body lift by hanging upside down for one hour a day, according to UP2 reporter, Agnes Schmuck. The former star and sex sy...
Read full story'A Yankee Soldier at the Court of King Arthur' by Mark Pain
'An American soldier fell asleep on duty in Iraq, and began to have a strange dream ... For he found himself in England at the time of King Arthur and his Merrie Men, and saw a poster nailed to a tree that said 'Ye Jousting Tournament Be At Chester This Friday; Bring Yer Own Bottle of Mead; Winner of Jousting Do Be Getting 12 Groats', and so the American decided he would enter the tournament, e...
Read full storyThe real lyrics of the French national anthem released today
Here are the original lyrics to the national anthem of France, 'La Mayonnaise': 'Come children surrender to the Fatherland The day of glory's yet to come Collaborating with the Nazis Losing to England once again Do you hear all round the countryside The sound of the brave Maqis? Ten brave Frenchmen and their dog What a feeble country! Surrender, while the Brits fight! Drink wine, w...
Read full storyWal Mart Reporting Lower Than Expected Sales
Wal Mart reported lower than expected sales for the Christmas season. They blame Democrats and 'political correctness' for all their woes. 'Economy, schmomony', said Walt Dimwitty, chief financial analyst for Wal Mart. 'The problem is with those d...
Read full storyStimulus Report - Major Growth in Undocumented Jobs
NEW YORK, NY - Although the effective distribution of credit to private sector employers is below targeted levels, entertainment and personal gratification markets are seeing improvement. Entrepreneurs such as Candy, Cristal, and Honey L'Amor are exp...
Read full story'Tiger Babes' nude calendar a Christmas best-seller
Just in time for Christmas, twelve of Tiger Woods' mistresses rolled out a calendar which features one of them 'in the buff' for each month in 2010. 'Too bad the year doesn't have 14 months', said Mark Reacher, vice president of XXX-Rated Calendar...
Read full storyWorld's Least Interesting Man Changes His Own Nickname
Published on both his MySpice page and well as his personal website home page, Dr. Billy Tinkles, adjunct physics processor at Oaklawn Junior College and Pet Cemetery in Des Moines, Iowa, has assigned himself a newer "hipper" nickname. Not that anyone was paying attention to his first nickname selection of "Einstein", but hit rates recently ran through the roof for any video posted by Tinkles o...
Read full storyRio Ferdinand and Owen Hargreaves claim OAP benefits!
Man United's long term injured pair, Rio Ferdinand and Owen Hargreaves, have put in claims for their OAP (old age pension) benefits! Rio and Owen have decided enough is enough and early retirement seems to have its attractions. 75% of present p...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Watches Chelsea Defeat Portsmouth 2-1
LONDON - The BBC is reporting that X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole was in the stands at Stanford Bridge Stadium and watched her husband Ashley's Chelsea Blues defeat the Portsmouth Pompey 2-1. Cheryl was pretty well covered up in a big black winter coa...
Read full storyBritshit Airways, better known as BA (Big Arseholes) claim the "Chrissy" strike is illegal, handcuffed workers seen being Goosestepped into planes!
BA, alias Britshit Airways, have won a legal battle and now the Christmas strike has been proclaimed illegal. The BA, CEO, obviously hacked into a Jaggedone "Chrissy" gem Spoof and then realised how dramatic the situation had become with desperate...
Read full storyMovement To Impeach Joe Lieberman
There is a movement, (some describe it as, "huge") to impeach Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut for stifling health care reform. His constituents believe the Senator's interests rest in representing the needs of health care insurance companies tha...
Read full storyWilly Wanker and the Chocolate Shit Factory - Part 5
Previous Chapters: Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5 The riverboat chugs along and comes to a stop after a terrifying tunnel passage in which images of sick depravity and torture appear before the eyes of the unfortunate passengers. "I fuckin' hate in-flight entertainment", moans Grandpa Joe as he removes his headphones and places them back in their holder. All are in agree...
Read full storyTiger Woods Spotted
The latest alleged Tiger girl, Theresa Rogers, has reported that Tiger Woods is spotted. 'He has spots all over his groin area', she claims. Elin Nordegren has decided that enough is enough and has filed for divorce from the golf star. 'It was...
Read full storyElin Woods Hits Tiger...With Divorce Papers!
ORLANDO - In a move that most everyone figured would finally happen, Elin Nordegren Woods has filed for a divorce from her philandering husband of five years Eldrick Tont Woods. The ex-Swedish model has told her attorney Reinhold Valterssen that s...
Read full storyNuns dial police emergency - Tiger Woods seen fleeing convent
Early last evening, nuns at the Our Lady of Dismal Perpetuality convent dialed police emergency when they heard the sounds of a break-in. 'We heard glass breaking, and then hoarse, heavy breathing', said Sister Mary George. 'We were all in our be...
Read full storyAl Gore Fingers Trees
Copenhagen - Al Gore spoke out this morning about the effect of trees on the 'greening' of earth. "Trees, at night, produce copious amounts of carbon dioxide. They are at the center of all the global warming that no one has been able to prove. For...
Read full storyShock, horror, Virgin Mary was not a Virgin, Joseph and Mary are caught "at it" in New Zealand!
It's taken 2009 years to finally "Come Out" and at last the truth has been finally confirmed by an Anglican Church in New Zealand. Revealing a massive billboard outside the church, the Deacon told of a "calling" in the night! God had told him t...
Read full storyPeaches Geldof Car Crash
The world was in shock today on hearing the terrible news that Peaches Geldof was involved in a serious head-on collision with a pensioner. Peaches, daughter of Sir Bob Geldof of Ethiopia and the late Paula 'I Sucked Off Hutchence' Yates was driv...
Read full storyNordegren reveals: 'Tiger is not the real father of my children'
In an exclusive interview with the Swedish newspaper Norrsskvigg Daggbladdet, Elin Nordegren has revealed that her husband, famed golfer Tiger Woods, is not the father of her children. Nordegren married Woods on October 5, 2004, in a wedding cerem...
Read full storyGM Goes Totally Green
Detroit - General Motors has decided to go green this year. They will sell only vehicles that are painted green from now on. The inspiration for this new trend came from their Advertising Department head Arnie Watanass. "I figure that the America...
Read full storyCheryl Cole In Canine Faeces Drama
TV's golden girl, Cheryl Cole was yesterday placed in a very embarrassing situation when she mistakenly ate a small piece of dogshit thinking it was a truffle. Girls Aloud's pop princess had been attending a fund-raining event at Battersea Dogs Ho...
Read full storyElin Woods' Grounds for Divorce Leaked: Littering + Jessica Simpson?
As if things weren't bad enough for golf's former King of Swat, reports are now leaking out from the divorce camp of Tiger Woods' wife, Elin, that grounds for divorce will claim his skills are diminishing due to his inability to recover from 'a bad l...
Read full storySex scandal linked to singer Adam Lambert
Pandemonium broke out last Saturday morning in the Magic Kingdom's Character Breakfast when the featured characters of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs performing "High Ho High Ho, It's Off to Work We Go" were unexpectedly replaced with Cruella Devil...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Played Slap & Tickle With Tiger
Los Angeles,CA Jessica Simpson has lashed out at the media for suggesting she had an affair with Tiger Woods. Instead, she has stated that she was in Orlando recently and was caught by a zookeeper playing slap and tickle with a baby tiger. Simpson...
Read full storyX Factor's Ray Quinn - My Bullying Hell
Many may have forgotten the chubby little dancing scouser from a few years back. In fact, Ray Quinn was in the finals of The X Factor in which luscious Leona Lewis triumphed. But behind that fat smile of his, lives a plethora of painful memories.
Read full storyThe Beginner's Guide To Creating The USA
Stuck with nothing to do after the pagan festival of Christmas? Wanting to massacre your visiting relations, but know it's bad etiquette to even start reaching for the carefully-hidden hatchet? Then why not create the USA, using this 20-point guide for beginners: 1. Be settled by Vikings, then pretend Vikings never arrived in your land. Odd how Vikings settled in Greenland, Iceland, even Sicily...
Read full storyTiger hired private eyes to test if Elin was snooping on his extramarital marauding
Orlando, Fla - (Rotters): The champion athlete became so paranoid that his wife had been secretly watching him that he spent $500,000 tailing Elin's imaginary dicks it emerged today. He even paid for covert DNA testing of his children after becomi...
Read full storyElf and Safety
It is bad news for children this coming festive period as Santa's annual delivery process has been halted following news that the Elf for Safety has deemed his workshop and delivery methods unsafe. The Safety Elf, Little Paul, concluded a six mont...
Read full storyWiccans warn of Monday's winter solstice shocker
The Cosmos - (Armageddinouttahere!): Wiccas' harshest equivalent of a Federal Emergency Management Agency executive order was issued today. The astrology warning by the Global Sabbath Council says Monday's Yuletide solstice will will be a monster.
Read full storyThe B Team
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. They promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, they survive in an old folks home in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Being too old to continue mercenarying If you have a problem, if no-one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire their sons...
Read full storyHorns of a dilemma amid Elin Woods 'hiding pregnancy from Tiger' reports
Orlando, Fla - (Reuterus): "No wonder Elin's hired a divorce lawyer who's name means cliché," a celebwatch magazine LA FaghHagSlagMag editorial commented today. The publication says Elin Woods has just instructed awesome California attorney Sorrel...
Read full storyOde To An Irish Builder
Oh, Fergus! You are the one for me! Well ... one of 'the ones' I do have a few other 'friends' on here, you know You're not THAT special! But Fergus, dear comrade, our post-midnight chats, They meant so much to me Although, all that posting and waiting for responses (sometimes until the next night!) We might as well have picked up the telephone and spoken to each other like most normal hu...
Read full storyElin Woods Takes A #3 Iron and Destroys Tiger's Entire Bobblehead Doll Collection
ORLANDO - The maid who has worked for Mr. and Mrs. Tiger Woods for four years, Paprika LaTibia Madison has said that late Thanksgiving Day she heard a loud commotion in the Woods master bedroom. As she was standing by the door, it suddenly flew op...
Read full storyChina Hit By 8.9 Earthquake - The Great Wall of China is Now The Great Wall of Mongolia
YUMEN, China - A powerful earthquake measuring 8.9 on the Richter Scale has hit Northern China. There are reports of extensive damage but luckily there have been no reports of fatalities. A reporter for The Shanghai Sun Star reported that the q...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Denies She Is One Of Tiger's "Golf Girls"
HOLLYWOOD - Rumors are vigorously circulating that singer-actress Jessica Simpson may be the first celebrity member of Tiger Woods "Scorecard Cutey Club." The 29-year-old Simpson first met Woods at a golf tournament in Bethesda, Maryland. One of t...
Read full storyRussell Brand and Katy Perry Exchange Marriage Vows On The Isle of Majorca
LONDON - In the surprise wedding event of the year actor-comedian Russell Brand has married his girlfriend singer Katy Perry on the beautiful Mediterranean Isle of Majorca. The two had been dating for sometime and Russell has apparently been wanti...
Read full storyMy Devotion To Jesus Budda
I love Jesus Budda so much, that it seemed only right and proper to publicise my love for him, and here on the pages of TheSpoof.com seemed like the right and proper place to do it. Well, Jesus, here goes: O Jesus, I have promised to serve Thee to the end; Be Thou forever near me, my Master and my Friend; I shall not fear the battle if Thou art by my side, Nor wander from the pathway if T...
Read full storyGoodwill to Install Surveillance
BOSTON- In a major effort to decrease theft from thrift stores, Jim Gibbons, President and CEO of Goodwill Industries International, reported yesterday that he is requiring all Goodwill donation centers to begin installing high-tech surveillance equi...
Read full storyGlory Hole Graduates from Medical School
Baltimore MD: Dr. Glory Hole graduated from Johns Hopkins University Medical School today, magna cum laude. The new doctor is the daughter of Arse and Donut Hole who immigrated to the US from East Germany in 1975 by escaping through a hole in the...
Read full storyTiger Announces He Is Abdicating His PGA Throne :"For the Woman I Love!"
The King of Pop for the PGA, Tiger Woods, announced today he was abdicating his throne as the world's best golfer and most popular human being after being shown polls that his popularity had sunk further than that of Adolph Hitler in 1945. In a te...
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