The Cosmos - (Armageddinouttahere!): Wiccas' harshest equivalent of a Federal Emergency Management Agency executive order was issued today.
The astrology warning by the Global Sabbath Council says Monday's Yuletide solstice will will be a monster.
The 17.47GMT solar ingress into Capricorn is karmically blighted by Sunday's retrograde Mars, which stands still at 19.41 degrees of Leo, the sign of royalty and feral fatcats.
As if that wasn't bad enough a Moon/Jupiter/Neptune triple conjunction at 24 degrees Aquarius occurs just a few hours ahead of Monday's solstice.
"The year's longest night could be the night of the longest knives," Wiccan Council seers added today.
"No wonder the Mayans freaked out and quickly put in place that December 21 2012 disinformation campaign."
This predicts the end of the world due to asteroid impact on Manhattan.
Monday's famous birthdays include Jane Fonda (72); Chinese president Hu Jintao, 67 and Samuel L Jackson, 61.