World's Least Interesting Man Changes His Own Nickname

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 17 December 2009

image for World's Least Interesting Man Changes His Own Nickname
I'm a physicist, but can I check your heart beat? Open the shirt just a little more... that's it.

Published on both his MySpice page and well as his personal website home page, Dr. Billy Tinkles, adjunct physics processor at Oaklawn Junior College and Pet Cemetery in Des Moines, Iowa, has assigned himself a newer "hipper" nickname.

Not that anyone was paying attention to his first nickname selection of "Einstein", but hit rates recently ran through the roof for any video posted by Tinkles on MySpice. He had not figured out that the number one rule of nicknames is that you never give yourself one. The man, the myth and the apparent "Legend", as Tinkles refers to himself, has been the number one draw on MySpice since declaring that he was the actual man those Dos Equis commercials were based on.

Now preferring to be called "MiM for what we are assuming is Most Interesting Man, Tinkles secretly records his encounters with women at singles bars to show off his prowess, at least in his own mind. The most recent posting shows Tinkles, not necessarily a horribly unattractive man, attempting to impress one victim with fame association. "You've seen stories about the Hadron Collider?" he asks. "Well I just happen to know a guy, who knows a guy, who works there. Yup, four point six billion dollars of engineering and I'm plugged in… Hey, where are you going?"

"MiM", apparently feels that he is a bit more worldly than his travel resume might indicate. In another viral video, Tinkles is heard saying, "You know that Sea Turtles hatch by the thousands each year on the beaches of Cabo San Lucas. It's a beautiful to be a part of it all." The woman is heard asking, "You mean you've seen it?" Tinkles responds, "Well no, but Discovery Channel has great coverage. Wanna head over to my place and we can see it on my 17 inch flat screen?"

Sad videos all, but that may be the draw. While Tinkles feels he may be the inspiration for the worlds most interesting man, the videos are humor to die for. Today's posting shows Tinkles, in yellow plaid pants and orange golf shirt, discussing macro economics with a junior professor. "Well, Gates thinks that the world laptop market will still be growing in 2015".

"You know Bill Gates?" asks the junior professor. "No, but I chat with a dry cleaner every day who knows Gates' personal driver. That's right, I'm connected", replies Tinkles.

The deadpan comedy continues as the world's least interesting man continues his journey into a questionably full and questionably interesting life. Fans of Tinkles' postings are working their way into his videos themselves. Three college sorority girls found him at the same bar only to be posted online the next day to the tune of 300,000 hits. Helping to solidify Tinkles' impression of his own greatness, the daily web hit rates seem to support his popularity albeit for different reasons.

More on the World's Least Interesting Man to come. Thanks to fellow Spoofers for the parallel idea on this.....

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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