LONDON - The BBC is reporting that X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole was in the stands at Stanford Bridge Stadium and watched her husband Ashley's Chelsea Blues defeat the Portsmouth Pompey 2-1.
Cheryl was pretty well covered up in a big black winter coat, but her £160,000 [$257,500 U.S.] dazzling diamond ring easily gave her away.
Nearby fans remarked that all throughout the game, Ms. Cole could be heard hollering "Come on Blues kick their arses from here to Pimlico."
Finally one of the Portsmouth fans went up to her and told her to kindly shut her bloomin' mouth. Cole reportedly replied "And what if I don't?"
The Pompey fan identified as a Mr. Spoofer Skoob told her that if she didn't pipe down that he would go and find the biggest, meanest, most vulgar Portsmouth female fan and ask her to please pick up little Miss "Don't I look fantastic in a minidress" Cole and deposit her out in the parking area.
Miss Cole assured Mr. Skoob that she would behave herself and cheer as quietly and as politely as humanly possible.
"That's me girl." Skoob remarked. And as he started to leave he turned around and said "Ya know lass, tis a downright bloody shame it's as cold as it is cause ya duz posses some right fine lookin' gams ya know."
"Thank you, that's kind of you to say good sir."
"Well, I guess I'll be on me way now. And it sure is getting damn colder innit?"
"Yes sir."
Spoof then remarked in a bit of a shivering voice, "Blimey I swear on da Blarney Stone, Big Ben, and all of Queen Elizabeth's hundreds of hats dat it is so cold dat it could turn a wabbits cotton balls into porcelain."
Ms. Cole smiled and asked, "Did ja say rabbits or wabbits?"
"Now der ya goes ag'in lass, 'ell bent on startin' sum shit wif me aren't cha now?"
Ms. Cole reached in her pocket and pulled out some money. She told Mr. Skoob to please buy himself a cup of hot cocoa on her.
Mr. Skoof smiled and told her that he did not need her money as he is employed as a satirist for Mark Lowton's www.thespoof.com and he makes plenty of money thank you.
Sir Spoofer Skoob who is perhaps one of the biggest Manchester United Red Devil fans resides in Portsmouth. He is well known for his many articles on English flavored subjects such as English crumpets, English fish and chips, English Leather, and the ever popular English muffins. Sir Spoofer Skoob recently came in second in The London Hand-Held Daily Mirror's annual "Most Popular Person in Great Britain" contest. This year's winner was once again Sir Paul McCartney of that little old band from yesteryear known as the Beatles.
