Saudi Prince Steals President's Lunch Money
President Obama reported yesterday that while on his trip abroad a Saudi Prince of high ranking threatened to give the President a "knuckle sandwich" if his lunch money wasn't handed over immediately. The president had stepped into a washroom...
Read full storyPakistan in self-destruction mode before IPO listing
ISLAMABAD: According to the latest development in Pakistan, the smart and super intelligent computer have predicted that world wants to break Pakistan into million pieces and drop them into stock exchange. The Pakistani Minister have even confirm...
Read full storyNew "Survivor" Location for Next Season Revealed--the South Side of Chicago
Moving away from its tropical island format, the "Survivor" reality show's 34th season will be held in a tenement in the South Side of Chicago. "We felt we needed a bit more danger in the show as well as a change of scene," said LeRoy Brown, the s...
Read full storyMe, The Missus And The Mother In Law
Back in '67 - I bought a bust up caravan from a good teg neebr of mine. Once I got it home I told the missus to pack 'er mither's bags and I'd take the old bawbag up the Trossachs for an Easter break. Leaving the missus at home I drove up to Brig o' Turk with the mither in law in tow, turned "off road" deep into Glen Finglas, unhooked the caravan and left the old bawbag to enjoy a weeks brea...
Read full storyObama - "Scots Safe In My Hands!"
Barack Obama, almost 8 months into his presidency of the US, is a hero of his nation's black liberation struggle and one of the new Afro American autocratic "big chiefs." In recent months, his early grip on power has strengthened along with his po...
Read full storyJoe Jonas to shave off eyebrows for charity
Singer in the US sensation Jonas Brothers, Joseph Jonas has received much public interest after he wrote on his official blog of his plans to shave off his trade mark eyebrows and give the money to charity. Since the blog was officially posted the...
Read full storyMeghan McCain's Juicy Tell-All Book
PHOENIX - Meghan McCain, the 24-year-old daughter of Senator John McCain and Cindy McCain reports that she received a very lucrative six-figure book deal from The Lower Grand Canyon Publishing Company. Meghan's 493 page book is entitled, Gee Opie...
Read full storyBill Clinton Always On The Make
TV presenter Claire Sweeney has revealed she was chatted up by Bill Clinton at a fancy dress party. He may have made his move on other women there, also. The former Brookside star was at a bash in Russia, hosted by Cliff Richard, when Clinton, wh...
Read full storySea Captain tries escaping Somali Pirates in protest over his home state of Virginia legalizing same-sex marriages
International Waters - When an American sea captain (who, like so many, is currently being held by Somali Pirates) learned by radio that his home state of Virginia passed a law legalizing same-sex marriages, he immediately jumped out of the lifeboat...
Read full storyQueen hands out Laundry Money
Today, in Suffolk, the Queen handed out Laundry Money to 83 people, The Great Unwashed of Bury St. Edmunds, in a ritual that dates back to when twin tubs were invented. 'We are here as Monarch to give out Laundry Money to our unwashed subjects', H...
Read full storyPrayer In School Allowed- All Hell Breaks Loose
The Religious Right won a major victory today against secular schools by getting prayer allowed in school. Going against the separation of church and state, a basic fundamental law in the U.S., the religionists finally got their toe in the door towar...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus to join the secret services
Breaking news has just come in that Singer/actress Miley Cyrus has plans to join the secret services. According to close sources Miley is determined to give this a shot! She is apparently extremely clever and it has been her dream since she was s...
Read full storyA Streetcar Named Desire
The penniless entertainer entered middle stage to echoing, rapturous applause from the three paying spectators, his mum, his granny and his flea-bitten, mingy dog, who had dared to enter the empty theatre and even pay for the premier of this unknown celebrity. Shaking and crapping in his pants, the unknown actor begun his one-man show, attempting to convince his spectators of the hidden genius...
Read full storyGOP questions: Is the POTUS' Af-Pak Fo-Po FUBAR?
WASHINGTON: Is President Obama's Af-Pak Foreign Policy F***ed Up Beyond All Repair? That's the Big Question doing the rounds in Washington today. First there was the appointment of Richard Holbrooke - the reincarnation of an earlier (brawn-but-no-brains?) Richard Armitage - who was going to force Pakistan to make its paradigm shift on fighting "its real enemy - the Taliban". Result: A despe...
Read full storyBNP Warn Of Harmless Threat
The BNP today warned its followers of a potential threat from Labour politician Harriet Harmless. A briefing note was wrapped in a brick and flung through the winow in a bid to communicate with their diehard voters Adolf and Eva Bonkers, of Burnley.
Read full storyDutch TV Found Guilty Of Talking Crap
A Dutch television program has been found guilty of talking crap. It's called The Devil's Advocate. The name is thought to be a parody of a popular Irish writer. On the program Osama Bin Laden was found to be not guilty of the 9/11 terrorist attac...
Read full story"Pirates of the Caribbean" Take Hostages
(Anaheim-CA) The happiest place on earth, proved it's not immune to ships being taken by real pirates. Thursday, taking a cue from Somali pirates who boarded the United State flagged ship "Maersk Alabama", employees dressed as pirates seized a boat i...
Read full storyFidel Castro Wants To Date Lindsay Lohan
HAVANA, Cuba - Fidel Castro, the ex-president of Cuba says that now that Samantha Ronson has dumped Lindsay Lohan he would like to date the gorgeous girl known as Lilo. Castro, who is 82, says that he read where Miss Lohan is devastated, embarrass...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Says He Is Not A Brainwashed Nazi
NEW YORK CITY - Radio talk show host, Rush Limbaugh took a call from a fellow Republican who proceeded to tear into the rotund regurgitator of rabid ranting and virtually left him speechless. The caller identified only as Charlie tore the big, old...
Read full storyI named my son "Ben Dover"
Cathleen Price and husband Ricky Dover have joined the celebrity inspired trend of unusual baby names When Cathleen gave birth to a little boy 6 weeks ago she decided to take full advantage of her husbands last name and called her son Ben Dover. Cathleen says: "Ben dover is just a classic name that reminds me of my youth. My friend Carol named her child Cocoa because she had an obsession...
Read full story"My baby is your brothers"
12th January 2006 little Ellie Grace Garner was born, a day that should of been the happiest day of any parents' life but for her mother Charlotte it was the worst. Charlotte and her husband Duke had been married for 10 years before Charlotte confirmed the pregnancy, nine months passed and Charlotte gave birth to a baby girl who she describes as "Beautiful and a little angel" "Duke was tota...
Read full storyTen Reasons Why Western Women Are Better Than Asian Ladies
Ten Reasons Why Western Women Are Better Than Asian Ladies 1. Western women recognize your drinking problem as their key to getting laid. 2. Western women make blindness seem less of a handicap. 3. Western women can shove the car home when it breaks down. 4. Western women can slap you into submission without using their hands (Thanks to the S n' M crowd for that one). 5. You can s...
Read full storyPink Elephant On The Rampage
A Polish gay elephant is seeking a new home. His camp behavior has seen him expelled from Poznan zoo. Nelly the elephant has to pack his trunk following several cases of sexual harassment. Polish officials were unrepentant. "It's no laughing matt...
Read full storyFootball Clubs Slam Church
Premiership football clubs have slammed the church for organising masses on Sundays, especially on Easter Sunday. Martin O'Neill, manager of Aston Villa, said "We have a big game on Sunday and the local churches are trying to lure our supporters away...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan dumps girlfriend for Playboy model
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronsons relationship has been on the rocks for months now, so it was no real suprise when the star told me three days ago: "Me and Sam are over, We just realised we want different things from life and we will never be able...
Read full storySpoof Writers Threaten Strike Action
Writers from TheSpoof.com are threatening to take industrial action after perceived slights from the general public. The issue most commonly raised was that readers of Spoof stories were too unappreciative of the writers' efforts to bother clicking a...
Read full storyShit Happens - Parliamentary Commission Confirms.
A Parliamentary Commission, established to investigate the popular saying, "Shit happens" this afternoon announced the results of their findings. It appears that shit does indeed happen, on a daily basis as far as most people are concerned. Those...
Read full storyYes! Yes! Yes! Oh My God YEESSSS!!! - Don't You Believe It...
New research from Reading University reveals that an increasing number of women are becoming extremely vocal whilst indulging in acts of a sexual nature. The most commonly used vocalisations being: "Yes! Yes! Oh My God YESSS!" "Oh yeah. Right t...
Read full storyLate arrival for G20 blames Obama for short notice
The Prime Minister of Andorra has arrived in London to attend the G20 Conference despite the fact that the heads of state talk fest finished eight days ago. Mr Manuel Numbskull was greeted by his Ambassador who told him the unfortunate news. When...
Read full storyItalian Mafia boss praises the 'Cosa Nostra' for saving lives in L'Aquila quake
The head of Italy's Mafia families - the Capo di Tutti Frutti, Doggio Constructione - today praised the Mafia for saving lives in L'Aquila's earthquake. 'If it hadn't been for us', Don Constructione said, 'the death toll would have been ten times wor...
Read full storyUS navy captured by Somali pirates
Reports from the Somali news agency suggest early this morning a US battleship heading towards North Korea was sensationally captured by 3 Somali Pirates in a fierce battle on a rubber dingy. The battleship which is equipped heavily with arms and...
Read full storyAristocrats
An epidemic has been identified that has an untraceable source, but it is known to be at least five thousand years old. This disease is called aristocritis, and only aristocrats and their contacts appear to be vulnerable to it. It causes them to w...
Read full storyEvery child in England asked: WWEBD?
A new moral code will be enforced on every child, teacher, parent and social worker in England. In new lessons, children are to provided with a new "moral compass" where they will have to ask themselves: What Would Ed Balls Do? Pictures of the...
Read full storyThe Somali Pirates Issue Their Demands
MOGADISHU, Somalia - The Somali pirates led by their leader, who goes by the name of Captain X, have stated what their demands are. They have said that they will release Captain Richard Phillips in exchange for two 2009 Lamborghini's, one 2009 Rol...
Read full storyBritney Spears Suddenly Walks Off Stage
VANCOUVER, Canada - The Britney Spears Traveling Three Ring Circus Tour hit a speed-bump in Vancouver. The pop diva suddenly walked off stage after performing just three songs. Initial reports said that Miss Spears left the stage because there wa...
Read full storyPM Calls for Fear over Easter Terror Plot
Prime Mincer Gordon Brown has appealed for fear in the North of England following the counter-terrorist arrests made this week. 12 people - all believed to be Pakistanis and most on student visas - have been arrested by police and are being interr...
Read full storyUS Navy frogmen spear pirates, freeing captain
LITTLE DINGY, Somalia - According to our secret but reliable military intelligence source, minutes ago, US Navy frogmen wearing carbon dioxide scrubbing re-breathing equipment and oxygen to avoid betraying their location with bubbles, used spear guns...
Read full storyUS Troops to leave Afghanistan Immediately
US President Barack Obama has announced the immediate total withdrawal of all US troops from Iraq and Afghanistan, in order to deal with the current Somalian piracy threat. The move was sparked by the pirates' attempt to capture a US-flag merchant...
Read full storyNorth Korea Evades UN Sanctions
New York, NY: Kim Jong Il, the leader of North Korea, traveled to United Nations headquarters today. He came to deliver a speech to an emergency session of the Security Council as to the intent of North Korea's missile launch of 5 April 2009. Kim...
Read full storyX-Men Star Calls for Death Penalty
X-Men: Origins star Hugh Jackman has added his voice to the growing calls for the return of capital punishment. The actor, who plays Wolverine in the upcoming movie, attacked 'the growing wave of serious crime' across the globe, and said that a re...
Read full storyAngel of Death Passes Over Israel's Missile Test
North Korea's missile shot and Iranian rocketry research have earned them membership in the axis of evil. These renegade nations have been threatened with attack and intimidated by economic boycotts. All this while the nations in the nuclear club pos...
Read full storyCheney Caught with Cable Cutters in California
As thousands of Golden State citizens lost all power to phones, computers and cable TV, a statewide dragnet was cast in search of the vandals, possibly terrorists, who maliciously lifted huge sewer covers, crept beneath the surface and sliced into hu...
Read full storyChinese Giant ILOVETOFU Denied Stock Market Listing
ILOVETOFU has been making offering its exciting and silky smooth product for decades on the Asian market. Its stock has held firm and provided great big delightful dividends to all its holders. No seemed able to resist ILOVETOFU that is until the gia...
Read full storyClimate Change - Manchester Unaffected
A spokesman for Manchester City Council today announced that the northern British metropolis, home of the world famous football team, Manchester City, was effectively immune to the effects of global warming. Council Person Frank Backbottom told th...
Read full storyPolitical Correctness Gone Absolutely Mad
From our political correspondent - Rumblings of discontent have been detected from smokers and drinkers across the UK who enjoy their vices without fanfare, yet find themselves increasingly alienated from mainstream society by a bunch of wankers who...
Read full storyNortel execs racked up unpaid NFL bill
Executives at troubled Nortel Networks dropped US$554,952.27 at National Football League games in Dallas last year, apparently without even paying the bill to creditor Texas Stadium Inc. That's just one of 7,700 creditor claims in Nortel's current...
Read full storyUN tax on all foods sans aspartame
NEW YORK, NY - The minister of UN Special Population Progroms, Dr. Trangesieh Eathdieh, announced today that all foods not containing a minimum required dosage of the drug aspartame will be heavily taxed. The population control measure is thought ne...
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