Written by Dungeekin

Friday, 10 April 2009

US President Barack Obama has announced the immediate total withdrawal of all US troops from Iraq and Afghanistan, in order to deal with the current Somalian piracy threat.

The move was sparked by the pirates' attempt to capture a US-flag merchant vessel this week, and four pirates are currently at sea in one of the ship's lifeboats having taken the captain hostage.

US Defense Secretary Robert Gates, announcing the decision, said, "we have to deal with the threat posed by these four pirates. Therefore, we are deploying the US Seventh Fleet and the entire US Marine Corps to take control of the lifeboat and restore order".

The USAF have put B-52s on standby to provide air support to the Seventh Fleet, who are expected to launch a shock attack on the liferaft including Tomahawk cruise missiles, a combined amphibious assault and the imposition of a 'freedom Government' on the liferaft once the operation is complete. American nuclear missile bases are on high alert.

Gates dismissed questions about whether it was necessary to use over 200,000 troops to deal with 4 blokes in a lifeboat, adding that he wanted to make sure the lifeboat situation didn't turn into another Vietnam".

The Defense Secretary added that a new medal would be issued to US Forces once the liferaft was retaken, which is to be named 'The Battle We Actually Won Cross'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
84 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more