Prime Mincer Gordon Brown has appealed for fear in the North of England following the counter-terrorist arrests made this week.
12 people - all believed to be Pakistanis and most on student visas - have been arrested by police and are being interrogated, while a number of properties are being searched.
Mr Brown said, "We are dealing with a very big terrorist plot. We have been following it for some time. It is right that the people of the UK should fear the insidious, constant threat of terrorism. Believe the warnings. Obviously I don't go shopping as I have flunkies to do it for me, but personally I wouldn't be going out. It's not safe anywhere. You must fear, and look to me, The Saviour of the World, to protect you".
The PM's sentiments were echoed by Greater Manchester Chief Constable Peter Fahy, who said, "the public should fear shopping in any of the reported targets. We're not telling you what the targets are, though. I would have no hesitation in stopping my wife and kids going shopping. They'll get blown up. There are terrorists everywhere".
The Chief Constable added, "we are calling on citizens to help fight this horrific threat to our British way of life, by calling the Confidential Terror-Monger Hotline whenever they see a terrorist. The terrorists will be easy to spot - they'll have brown skin and beards. And maybe funny accents".