Funny story written by dgwest7

Friday, 10 April 2009

image for Aristocrats
Aristocrats infected by deadly epidemic

An epidemic has been identified that has an untraceable source, but it is known to be at least five thousand years old. This disease is called aristocritis, and only aristocrats and their contacts appear to be vulnerable to it.

It causes them to want to hoard money, to control other peoples' lives, and to devise schemes to keep the non-aristocratic people as deprived as possible.

The sufferers have delusions of grandeur, and can be pacified only by frequent appearances on TV and in newspapers.

They are prone to the habit of lying, which is caused by a total disconnection of heart from mind.

They seriously believe that they are together a superior race, and that the rest of us are mere pawns to be played with. The unfortunate thing is that they are all such good actors that they have many thousands of people believing them at any one time.

It takes a few years of following politics before we realise that there really is a tiny hint of truth in everything that the aristocrats say.

What would you do if you could see that all your mates and loved ones had fallen for the biggest scam of them all. That they were working like slaves and having a difficult life. Whenever you tried to mention it, they said that you were crazy, which is another symptom of something.

This is the earliest detectable sign of the dreaded disease - when slightly sick people centre their thoughts and actions around the ideas of very sick people.

It has been discovered that the infection rates might be approaching fifty percent, or even more. Even if an antidote could be found today, the disease is spreading faster than medicine could be manufactured.

The only possible way to avoid this disease is to avoid anything and everything that has anything to do with the aristocrats. That means anything to do with royalty, government, banks, Fortune Top 500000 businesses. Any form of reliance on any government must be cut immediately, and alternative means must be found.

It is anticipated that, after the G20 exercise in quarantining aristocrats, avoiding the aristocrats will become second nature. They will call for back-up on many occasions, but their back-up will not appear, for fear of catching aristocristis.

Most aristocrats are expected to succumb to the disease, and each will be quarantined at Guantanamo

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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