Sexual Past Of U.S. Senator Joe Biden, VP Choice Of Dems, Goes Up In Smoke
Joseph Biden, Maryland's Junior Senator, bitten in his 1988 bid for President, is almost one smart cookie. He got a call early Saturday morning, exactly at 12:07 AM, August 23, 2008 from Barack Obama, indicating he is the Halfrican's choice for Vice-Presidential running mate. Immediately, Biden went to his secret closet, locked as tightly as a bank vault. He removed every piece of negative docu...
Read full storyJ. K. R. Interferes With Wanking Wizard
J.K.R. the creator of blockbusting fantasy wizard superstar; Harry Potter, is today desperately trying to stop the release of a blue movie starring Daniel Radcliffe. Radcliffe plays the part of a Wizard who's party trick is, well...wanking. But...
Read full storyFolders on Strike
Folders are now on strike. The useful stationary items no longer move properly, and will now be known as straights. This comes as a bitter blow to the stationary industry, as the Back to School Campaigns in many high street shops are now in full swin...
Read full storyBrian Blessed School of Acting Closes
The Brian Blessed school of acting in Accrington Stanley shut its doors for the last time today. The school, opened by Brian Blessed the famous mountain climber, actor, and shouter was the first performing arts school in Accrington in 1970. A dow...
Read full storyKeep it down in there...
The quiet men of entertainment, Whispering Bob Harris, and David Attenborough today surprised many in the BBC Canteen with a shout off. The two who are very close friends said they were sick and tired of people not being able to hear them properly...
Read full storyWombles on Endangered Species List
Wombles, the beloved species that tidy Wimbledon Common are now officially on the Endangered Species list. The animals were added when Wimbledon Common was seen to be in a state of untidiness, and that the Wombles had not been seen for a while.
Read full storyConservative Posters Attack Labour
With the economy on a downward slide and Labour coming to the end of its term in office, the Conservatives have been designing posters for use in their next general election campaign. These posters are clean but have a very strong message within them about how Labour have failed many as well as wasted billions, and one poster was leaked in an email which has the following messages summing up New L...
Read full storyTag Team Wrestling to Decide Nation's Future
Washington DC, September 5, 2008: The Democratic and Republican Party national conventions are finally over. The presidential candidates are not presumptive any more. Senator Obama and Senator McCain met to discuss the details of the ensuing campa...
Read full storyPen mightier than sword
Jeremy Kyle on daytime TV aside, perhaps the most disturbing development to date in modern technology has been uncovered by 'journalists' at TheSpoof.com. Sneaky Russian scientists have been developing a pen that is up 200,000 times mightier than any...
Read full storyRed State Americans: Should You Vote?
As the presidential election draws near, it's the perfect time to reflect on our duty as citizens to be informed voters. Unfortunately, not everyone who is eligible to vote should vote. That may sound like heresy in a democracy such as ours, but the fact is that careless, unthinking votes can be more harmful than not voting at all, as recent elections have clearly demonstrated. Think about it.
Read full storyBristol Palin Baby's daddy Levi Johnston to be offered huge deal to play with Vancouver Canucks!
DIDJUNEAU - ALASKA: Levi Johnston, the 18-year old, self-proclaimed 'Redneck" and father of Rep-Veep Sarah Palin's soon-to-be born grandchild was offered a 2-year 20 million US$ deal by the Vancouver Canucks. Said Canuck GM Mike Gillis, "We're ti...
Read full storyKNOWING THE RIGHT TIME TO CLEAN HOUSE
I clean my house according to some simple principles that are easy to remember: 1. If you have just stepped on something and danced around in pain until you slipped on a magazine, it is probably time to pick up again. 2. If you find your scissors by feeling around your dining room table until you feel something hard of the correct shape, it's time to clear off a few things. 3. If you need...
Read full storyGovernor Sarah Palin Withdraws Nomination
Like a passenger trying to fly economy, carrying too much baggage and unable to afford the extra baggage fees at check in, Sarah Palin is withdrawing her nomination for the Republican office of Vice-president of the United States, cuzz no way that Mc...
Read full storyBath-time
The bath that three old codgers rode down a hill in in the Sit-com Last of the Summer Wine is to be sold of at auction. The bath, as iconoclastic a vehicle as the Batmobile, Del Boy's Robin Reliant and the Pope Mobile is said to be worth very litt...
Read full storyRed State Americans: Should You Vote?
As the presidential election draws near, it's the perfect time to reflect on our duty as citizens to be informed voters. Unfortunately, not everyone who is eligible to vote should vote. That may sound like heresy in a democracy such as ours, but the fact is that careless, unthinking votes can be more harmful than not voting at all, as recent elections have clearly demonstrated. Think about it.
Read full storyWhat Becomes Of A Grown Up Daniel Radcliffe Obsessee?
Back in April all I could think of was teen actor Daniel Radcliffe. I talked about him. I dreamed about him. I wrote about him. I plotted ways to bed him. I learned his family history. I planned our wedding. I watched him. I read him. My walls were covered in his face. I wore him. I ate him (well Harry Potter spaghetti shapes).I played with dolls of him. But zoom forward 5 months and it has all ch...
Read full storyKeegan Sacked Over Joey Barton Birthday Party
Kevin Keegan, the sacked Newcastle United manager, lost his job over his loyalty in jailed midfielder Joey Barton, it has been claimed, with the Messiah having organised a birthday party for the Scouse lout this morning. Barton, 26 today, recently...
Read full storyRockall Celebrates Patron Saint's Day
Rockall this week celebrated the feast day of our venerated patron, St. Rupert the Killjoy, a sixth century Hebridean missionary who brought Christianity to the sacred isle. Bunting and banners festooned the streets on Tuesday as the Fighting Dog...
Read full storySahara Forest Timber Co. Devastate Cilla' Dendroids
A festering neighbourhood argument over the giant redwoods surrounding Cilla Black's mansion turned ugly earlier this week, with several trees given the chop while the Scouse TV star' was on holiday at Butlin's Lanzarote. Police were called to Bla...
Read full storyMemorial Service for Former Irish Premier Charles Haughey
It is now two years since Charles Haughey, three times Toaiseach of Ireland and Leader of the Fianna Failures party, died at the age of 126. Haughey, whose long and crooked bungee cord political career was dogged by scandal, is to be honoured by F...
Read full storySarah Palin Nude Vagina Hotter than Britney Spears?
With the great furore over nude photos of Sarah Palin circulating the internet, the question on many peoples lips is, "Is Palin's vagina hotter than Britney's?" In an attempt to boost her flagging career, dizzy blonde Spears flashed her bits for t...
Read full storyStraight Male Wedding Planner Discovered
Sociologists have made a surprizing find in the unlikely town of Tempe, Arizona. Dave Grisben considered himself a typical wedding planner. This ex navy seal and father of three was surprized to learn that most of his male work associates are gay.
Read full storyGood Vibrations
Japanese artist; Osaka Macok hás caused quite a stir with his alabaster creation of Jesus of Nazareth with a hard-on! The statue, which was displayed at a Gateshead (UK) Art Centre is allegedly responsible for a spurt in phallic sex toys.
Read full storyMany Republicans injured in Hypocrisy vortex
The Republican party is in a state of shock today as many of its members suffered severe whiplash injuries in the recently discovered Hypocrisy vortex. "We had to change direction so quickly, it caused some of our party to sustain permanent injuri...
Read full storyKevin Keegan To Sign On The Dole Again
As the top clubs were busy signing international footballing superstars yesterday, Newcastle United manager Kevin Keegan is pondering his future, and the fact that he will, instead, be 'signing-on' tomorrow. The St James' Park Messiah has only bee...
Read full storyA Life in the Day of Gizmo
Hello Everybody, You will remember me as the sweet ball of fur that Corey Feldman poured water on in that famed 1980's documentary Gremlins. I also had a starring role in the sequel, but I have had no work since then. I was talking to Gary Coleman about this just the other day. If you start out as cute and lovable, the only place to go after that is downhill. Of course, I could have cashed i...
Read full storyRon Paul Selects Ralph Nader as His VP
Cheyenne Mt CO, September 1, 2008: Presidential candidate Ron Paul emerged from his underground Libertarian Party headquarters to announce his vice presidential choice. He said "I have chosen Ralph Nader as my running mate." A Libertarian Party sp...
Read full storyRobinho Gets His Manchesters Mixed Up
Manchester City new signing Robinho was paraded in front of the world's media at a news conference at Eastlands this morning, but all was not well with the dimunitive Brazilian striker, and it appears an embarrassing mistake may have been made. As...
Read full storySir Cliff Could Kick-start Apocalypse
The attempts of House Wives favourite Cliff Richard to have a number one hit song in six decades has to be thwarted, to save the world from imminent disaster, says a worried man. Mr Harry Webb, who has been locked in a cellar for years, since Clif...
Read full storyFaldo: Non-English Ryder-cup players to pledge allegiance to the Queen
Following the unsurprising omission of inform players in favour of the more flamboyant and typically more English players like Ian Poulter, Dr Bore (Nick Faldo) has announced the rest of his players must follow his strict rules and change over their...
Read full storyMedia to sue Hurricane Gustav
The US media has taken the unprecedented step of launching legal action against Hurricane Gustav. In the run-up to Gustav's impact on America's gulf coast, the media frenzy knew no-bounds, as Gustav was expected to devastate New Orleans once again...
Read full storyLatest VD Record Hits UK
Val Doonican, cardigan wearing song and dance man has launched a new album of love ballads, called VD for Lovers. Doonican, known as V from the Hood, to those on the streets has issued the album to redeem himself in the favour of the general publi...
Read full storyKevin Keegan: Man City Purchase "The Most Significant Football Event In The Last 1000 Years"
The £100million purchase of Manchester City by the Saudi Royal family is the most significant event in football of the last 1000 years. That's the opinion of the Newcastle United boss Kevin Keegan, who is a bit barmy. Keegan was reacting to yester...
Read full storyMan United undercut Robinho £32.5m transfer and nab top striker for £30k
Manchester United have trounced Manchester City to the signing of a new striker for £30,000, slashing the £32.5 million paid for Robinho from Real Madrid. In between chewing pieces of gum with his mouth open, United boss Sir Alex Ferguson was said...
Read full storyNew Polls shock no one
A University constructed a team of students with various political veiws to confirm some supicions about the Fox News Network. Their studies are as follows: * 76% of regular Fox News veiwers are in fact not smarter than a 5th grader * 23%...
Read full storySharp Shooter Sarah "Annie Oakley" Palin Uses Shot Gun Skills to Arrange Daughter's Wedding
Wedding arrangements in Alaska where there is a definite shortage of womenfolk often involve luring the ladies from the south forty eight. When there is a native Alaskan lass... the males in rut are often beating down the door. This may explai...
Read full storyPromise Rings and Vaginal Contraceptive Rings Are Not the Same Things!
Many Christian conservative families equip their daughters with a promise ring when they reach their child bearing years. Frequently, progressive moms and dads encourage their post pubescent children to wear the vaginal contraceptive ring to achieve...
Read full storyEvangelicals Stick McCain with a Pregnant Teen and a Hit Woman!
People close to McCain, told TheSpoof.com that the candidate hoped to have a friend by his side as he navigated the difficult final weeks of the campaign and hopefully into his term as President. A VP like his Jewish buddy Democrat Joe Lieberman who...
Read full storyGustav Spares NOLA! Oh No! Now Republicans have to Present Ideas and Policies!
Symbol rich and idea poor, the Republican party has the war time POW, the unHillary and they thought they had the distraction from hell to disguise the fact that they are clean out of ideas and policy proposals. Imagine our good luck, they told TheSp...
Read full storyBush VP cheney Tells Palin What a Veep Does All day and... All Night
When asked about her plans as McCain's Vice President, VPiLF candie Sarah Palin told reporters and TheSpoof.com that first she had to find out what a Veep did all day. Republican Vice Dick "Faceshooter" Cheney gave the small town Mayor a call to outline his daily duties: 6am : Climb into the coffin with earth from Transylvania till sun goes down 8pm : Climb out of coffin as night falls 8:...
Read full storySarah Palin: Rafael Nadal is HOT!
Flushing Meadows- Sarah Palin, the new V.P. Running Mate choice of John McCain, surfaced at the U.S. Open this week. She is currently being questioned by New York Police for hanging out near the men's locker room and attempting to steal a pair of Raf...
Read full storyIce Grilling Fad In Restaurants
Are you tired of all the restaurants who offer fire grilled menu items? Well there's a new wave coming, and it's frozen. Ice grilling is all the rage. Peachadee's started the trend offering ice-grilled salmon, then expanded to chicken, steak and s...
Read full storyBiden Does Minstrel Show Praising Obama for Saving New Orleans
MONROE, Mich. - The Democratic campaign took advantage of Labor Day celebrations here to let it be known that Barrack Obama stood on the shores of the gulf of Mexico yesterday and, like Moses parting the Red Sea, raised his hands up to the heavens ca...
Read full storySarah Palin's daughter Again pregnant with McCain's baby: This time she must carry her own child!
Sarah Palin in good Christian conservative responsible parenting is refusing to carry her daughter's second child by John McCain. "Our family teaches compassion and personal responsibility. I agreed to carry my daughter's first child fathered by...
Read full storyHarry Potter In Terrible Magic Mix-Up
Harry Potter star, Daniel Radcliffe, has landed himself in hospital after a terrible magic mix-up during the filming of the new Potter film. Radcliffe, shooting a scene in which he had to disappear, covered himself in Hogwart's 'own brand' vanis...
Read full storyPalin Confesses: I will be submissive to my husband (Ephesians 6:6)
Evangelical fundamentalist Christian, Sarah Palin has told the Christian conservatives of the US of A that she will follow the Biblical model for family into her job as John Mccain's Vice. The former small town beauty queen and mayor has pledged...
Read full storyMan City To Play Seven Home Games In Abu Dhabi
Manchester City, the richest football club in the world, have made a statement on the club's website, that the team will play seven of its home games in Abu Dhabi, increasing to nine games next season, and fifteen in 2010/11. The arrangement will...
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