Governor Sarah Palin Withdraws Nomination

Written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

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Like a passenger trying to fly economy, carrying too much baggage and unable to afford the extra baggage fees at check in, Sarah Palin is withdrawing her nomination for the Republican office of Vice-president of the United States, cuzz no way that McCain plane is going to get off the ground. And McCain knows about crashing a plane or two or three; actually four. Houses he's not too clear about.

With extra baggage like: the "bridge to nowhere" she was for it until she was against it; trying to use her office as Governor to secure the dismissal of her former brother-in-law, firing his supervisor instead, an impeachable offence now under investigation, and finally, (so far) she has a pregnant unwed teenage daughter.

The good news is that sparsely populated Alaska will have another resident in four months. The really supper good news is that John Edwards is not the father. Whew. Palin's daughter and boyfriend plan to marry after the child is born and will not be guests on the Maury Povich show. Judging from Governor Palin's mother-in-law's statement about still voting for Barack Obama, the whole gang might make it to the Jerry Springer show instead. Did Clara Harris, (she who ran over here husband five times with her Mercedes Benz) have a mother-in-law issue?

Having met the Governor only once five months ago, (no, Senator McCain is not the father) the Republican party now claim Sarah Palin was indeed vetted. If so, why was McCain's first choice Joe Lieberman? When MSNBC David Shuster asked a McCain spokesperson whether Sarah Palin brought as much experience to the table as Condoleezza Rice, the reply, (following eyes in headlight moment) was laughable. And spoken with a straight face.

So the young girl decided to have her baby. Her decision was not dictated by men in black robes making laws about women's rights and women's bodies. A private, personal pro-choice decision. All choices should be as equal. If men got pregnant, abortion would be celebrated like the Indianapolis 500, the Super Bowl, the World Series or with a beer at Bud's.

Alaska will get its Governor back with all her baggage and the Governor gets a new voter. Eventually.

Suddenly Bush and Cheney seem like the norm.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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