A Life in the Day of Gizmo

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

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Gizmo's kids, those pesky Gremlins

Hello Everybody,

You will remember me as the sweet ball of fur that Corey Feldman poured water on in that famed 1980's documentary Gremlins.

I also had a starring role in the sequel, but I have had no work since then. I was talking to Gary Coleman about this just the other day. If you start out as cute and lovable, the only place to go after that is downhill. Of course, I could have cashed in on it when I was younger. They were offering me all sorts. TV interviews, but of course I don't like Bright Lights. Swimming Pool parties with girls, but you have seen what happens when I get wet. Parties and meals that go on all night, but you know what happens if I eat after midnight..........

And people really seem to hate my kids. I produce so many, and it is obvious that some of them will want to act out, and it only takes one of them to get a midnight snack, or to walk in the rain, and it happens all over again.

It is a cross I have to bear all my life, and by myself. Of course, there are other Mogwai's around, but I don't keep in touch with them, and they all thought I had sold out the family name when I agreed to all of those films.

They had big stars in them. Who is going to turn down the chance to work with Corey Feldman, Phoebe Cates and Judge Reinhold. Not me. A Mogwai new to New York is veruy easily tempted, I can tell you, and no mistake.

Of course, people got me mixed up with Gordon the Gopher in the early days, and I can't tell you how many times I have been misplaced in luggage. It is not easy being famous and small enough to fit in hand luggage, as I was saying to Ronnie Corbett the other days.

My lifestyle is normally quite reclusive these days. A strict diet, no bright lights, and no water. I do like Cocaine though, but that causes its own problems. I don't want to be caught, and my mugshot plastered all over the Onion, or any of the other things I read.

I normally sleep in until noon, and then get up, look around the place for a while, and I am back by 8pm, to avoid all of the bright lights. I used to walk around after dark, but people thought wrongly of what I was doing, so I don't do that type of thing anymore.

Sometimes I wish I was not in that film. They killed so many of many children in both films, and they were only having fun. So, a few people were killed, and things were a little hairy for a while, but I am over it now. It fame, but it bought no end of trouble as well.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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