What Becomes Of A Grown Up Daniel Radcliffe Obsessee?

Funny story written by Sophie Jayne

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

image for What Becomes Of A Grown Up Daniel Radcliffe Obsessee?
I m soooo over him.

Back in April all I could think of was teen actor Daniel Radcliffe. I talked about him. I dreamed about him. I wrote about him. I plotted ways to bed him. I learned his family history. I planned our wedding. I watched him. I read him. My walls were covered in his face. I wore him. I ate him (well Harry Potter spaghetti shapes).I played with dolls of him. But zoom forward 5 months and it has all changed. Have I grown up? What has become of me, an ex Daniel Radcliffe stalker?

Now, I look at a picture of him and admittedly he is not ugly but I really wouldn't call him 'the hottest guy alive' like I have done previously. Ok, I m only human I wouldn't kick him out of bed but I d rather my own imperfect boyfriend over him any day. Maybe that is it, maybe all my thought space is now taken up by that boyfriend (because God I think about him more than is humanly possible) that there is no space for good old Radders.

I first knew that my standards were slipping as a Radders stalker when I could no longer think up any (sometimes) humours and (always) silly stories about him. Then I suddenly realised that I no longer spend hours on varies websites scanning for new Dan information and hot pic!

I think the last straw was when I went away on holiday for two weeks. On my return I was faced with 567 unread mail messages, of which, all except half a dozen of them, were alerts on Daniel Radcliffe's recent behaviour. I just couldn't be bothered to open them. I simply just didn't care what he was up to, he could have chucked his self off a bridge and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid! Ok that is not all true, I guess he is just like an ex boyfriend to me now, there are happy memories but you are glad it is over.

So what is next? Well I m not going to stop writing about Daniel because I love writing and I m too thick to write about any other topics, you know like politics or world hunger. And as for my room full of posters, they are staying because they annoy my boyfriend a lot and besides they would leave stupid marks all over the wall if I took them down. So yep, I ve been through the dark tunnel of teen celebrity crush and I m out the other side and I m a better person for it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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