Kevin Keegan To Sign On The Dole Again

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

image for Kevin Keegan To Sign On The Dole Again
On his way out again

As the top clubs were busy signing international footballing superstars yesterday, Newcastle United manager Kevin Keegan is pondering his future, and the fact that he will, instead, be 'signing-on' tomorrow.

The St James' Park Messiah has only been back at the club since January, but already, he has again become 'disillusioned', and has challenged the club's owner over, what he calls, "a lack of cash".

Insiders say that he is eyeing the Manchester City manager's job, in the light of the extraordinary events at Eastlands yesterday, when the club was bought by an arm of the Saudi Royal family - the left arm, I think.

But Sky Blues boss Mark Hughes won't be budged easily, and Keegan may have got ahead of himself this time, with his chopping-and-changing attitude towards management.

Famed for his TV outbursts, Keegan has just emerged from a meeting with Toon owner and piss-artist Mike Ashley, and will most likely report to Newcastle Jobcentre Plus in the morning.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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