Don't Panic! Space crap 'poses no danger' say MIB, Captain Kirk, Doctor Who
Astronauts on the US space shuttle Discovery have been told that the numerous huge hunks of floating radioactive debris and even an apparent fender-bender with the UFP Spaceship Enterprise pose no danger for scheduled re-entry.
Read full storyNew Hull City Winger May Be Bent
Craig Fagan the player who Hull City bought back from championship relegation favourites Derby County, has denied emphatically that the possible arrival of Marcus Bent from Charlton Athletic would in any way undermine his position in the squad.
Read full storyNew Culinary Fad: Mercury On Everything!
Following the many corporate big pharmaceutical funded scientific reports telling us that mercury in our vaccines is highly nutritious and beneficial to our brains; many celebrity chiefs have started to add it to their dishes.
Read full storyPsychiatrists: Bush Not An Idiot, Technically.
Bethesda, MD - In a strongly worded statement today, the American College of Psychiatric Diagnosis condemned pundits and bloggers who call George W Bush an idiot.
Read full storyPresident Bush's teddy bear kidnapped
Sources close to the White House confirmed today that Mr. Wiggles the teddy bear of President Bush was kidnapped.
Read full storyNASA says object following Shuttle is toliet
At press conference today NASA officials said that an object discovered this morning trailing the shuttle is the toilet from the shuttle.
Read full storyDavid Davis resigns to fight for British Gas to answer phones more quickly
Hot on the heels of his recent resignation, Secretary for Shadows in the next Conservative Government, David Davis, has decided to contest the seat he resigned from in a by-election organised to replace himself with himself.
Read full storyIrish Referendum Rigged Claim
The European Union commission are alleging that the voting on the Lisbon Treaty by Ireland has been rigged. The Irish Government carefully explained what type of questions were in the treaty which needs to be ratified by all 27 member countries.
Read full storyRobert Mugabe surprise Best Man at Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin's Wedding
The entire World awoke this morning in disbelief after learning that Robert Mugabe was yesterday the Best Man at Wayne and Coleen's Wedding which was held at the beautiful fortress of Villa Durazzo overlooking Santa Margherita on the Italian Rivi...
Read full storyHillary Clinton Witch Rumor Denied By McCain Camp
(New York-NY) At his first "Town Hall" meeting in New York City's Federal Hall, a statement made by presumptive Republican presidential nominee, John McCain, has many political bloggers wondering "wtf"? The r...
Read full storyMcCain Shocker: "Pillsbury Doughboy My Son"
Memphis, TN - In a tear-filled admission during a town hall meeting in Memphis yesterday, Republican presidential candidate John McCain confessed that he was the father of the popular television icon the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Read full storyQueen Sends Letter To George Bush
Today Her Majesty wrote a letter to George Bush, and we can reveal its contents:...
Read full storyOutbreak Of Tyneside Accents In Washington
Today there was a sudden outbreak of English Tyneside accents in the American capital of Washington, D.C. 'Speaking from the White House, ABC News reporter Kent State said: 'Well, viewers, sources at the FBI have confirmed that people have bin bre...
Read full storyRoyal Ascot bombs as serpent crop circle appears in royal enclosure
Ascot, berks - (Snake-in-the-Grass Mess): A huge Carla Bruni-faced serpent crop circle has suddenly appeared in Royal Ascot's unsaddling enclosure prompting the immediate cancellation of next week's five day race meeting.
Read full storyAl-Qaeda Dossier Lost On Train Is Handed Over To Rightful Owners
A lost dossier containing information on the al-Qaeda terrorist organisation has been reunited with its rightful owners, after a man found it on a train and made an incredible journey to the mountains of Afghanistan.
Read full storyMichael Jackson To Buy Guantanamo Bay
Michael Jackson, the jaded pop star, is back in the headlines again after it emerged that he has made enquiries about the availability of Guantanemo Bay detention centre.
Read full storyGlobal Cooling Creates New Imigration Problem
High ranking members of congress met today to discuss the immigration problems stemming from the newly discovered issue of global cooling.
Read full storyCan Hulk Smash Night?
(La La Land, CA) - A skinny Indian American director fights it out with a green version of Jose Canseco this weekend at the multiplex, as The Incredible Hulk and The Happening will both try and exceed middling expect...
Read full storyHoliday Squits: Latest Advice
Leading medical experts have made an exciting announcement today, claiming that they now have within their grasp the cure for the annoying and debilitating condition known as the 'Holiday Shits'. With the summer holiday season fast approaching, an...
Read full storyAlabama Audience Upset Obama Never Asked Where White Wimmin Were At
"This certainly is not what I expected," said Marvin McGwire following a speech by presidential candidate Barack Obama last evening in York, Alabama.
Read full storyBritain Loses History
Important details relating to Britain's history have been stolen from up to 36 million UK households according to OffWatch, the government department responsible for oversight. This follows hard on the heels of the careless and embarrassing loss...
Read full storyBig Brother Alex Violated
Big Brother housemate and disrespected black person Alexandra de Gale, was yesterday involved in a new crisis when, in front of million of TV viewers, she was openly violated by fellow housemate, Rex, who, to be hone...
Read full storyMax Mosley invited to Bush's Windsor Castle sleep-over
Windsor - (Wrinkly Ass Mess): S&M Nazi nutter Max Mosley is top on the invite list to the Windsor Castle Father's Day sleep-over orgy organised by the Puppet Monarch's pederastocracy fanclub. Mosley is bringing his own altar boy entourage afte...
Read full storyWarm Vegetarians Ready
Robert Mugabe, president of Senile Old Southern African Despots (SOSAD) has said his warm vegetarians are ready to take stand-up comedy to the people in the forthcoming rip-off elections.
Read full storyDavid Davis resignation: Father's Day death-knell for Astor family fantasy agenda
London - (Habeus Corpus Mess): Tory front bench maverick David Davis played a blinder yesterday, publicly dumping the country's top fascism apologists the Astor family and their Bush-fellating agenda, our Palace of Westmonster correspondent w...
Read full storyEurope In Mourning After German Defeat
Football fans across Europe were in mourning today, after Germany's shock defeat by Croatia.
Read full storyBody piercing research omits historical origins
The recent research revealing that 10% of the population have lumps of metal shrapnel, curtain and key rings inserted through body parts other than their ears, has failed to draw on the historical origins of this crude fashion form.
Read full storyGeorge Washington Held In Guantanamo
Terrorist leader George Washington is being held in Guantanamo Bay.
Read full storyBritish Fuel 'Not Expensive Enough'
A British consumer group today claimed that fuel for cars and lorries wasn't expensive enough.
Read full storyMonkey Woods in "Wood Monkeys is Apeing my name" Claim, Writes Monkeys Wood
Leading spoof writer, Monkey Woods, has issued a controversial claim that new boy on the scene, Wood Monkeys, is an unwelcome impostor who is merely apeing his name...
Read full storyStagflation May Lead to Worklessness
Bank of England officials today were said to be sure that Britain was unlikely to go into recession any time soon not while there are words like stagflation about.
Read full storyVatican Denies There Are 13 Months In A Year
Speaking from his multi-millionaire's massive luxury home in Rome, only a few thousand miles away from Palestine, where Jesus preached humility and poverty, Pope Benedictine the Unhypocritical said: 'Ave Caesar. Yes, I mean no, anyone spreadi...
Read full storyHull City Striker Dean Windass To Be Honoured By Local Company
Dean Windass, the Hull City striker who scored the goal which sent the Tigers into the Premiership for the first time in their 104-year history, is to be honoured in a similar way to Austrian hero Ivica Vasti...
Read full storyStallWallScrawl.cum: The Lusty Month of May!
Did you take it in the queaster on Easter?...
Read full storyDisney Town
Washington DC: Disney Town has been operating for a long time. People from all over the world know Disneyland and Disneyworld, but Disney Town remains a quiet secret, with both wonderful and mysterious goings on.
Read full storyMississippi Foreign Workers End Hunger Strike When Raises Allow Them to Afford Food!
Two dozen Asian Indian guest workers working on an oil rig in Mississippi were said to be on a month long hunger strike.
Read full storyAsstronomers Name Pluto a Hemorrhoid
Poor Pluto has been demoted from one of the seven planets, recently called a Plutoid by International Astronomical Union and now diagnosed as a hemorrhoid on the ass of Neptune.
Read full storyA Tale of Three Executives
Emerald City: My grandfather told me this fable about three executives and the raising of a chicken. Each man in their own turn managed the same magnificent Company. The three were Jimmy, Ron and George.
Read full storyRepublicans Block Extended Aid to Unemployed Till Bush and Cheney Are Included
As the US economy reels from a collapsed housing market, surging oil and food prices and most recently the largest one month increase in unemployment in two decades, House Democrats with the support of 49 Republicans tried to extend unemployment bene...
Read full storyTainted tomatoes traced to Illegal Aliens from Mexico, says FDA
Washington, DC - Coming under increasing political pressure by the GOP to find a scapegoat for the up coming 2008 Presidential campaign, as playing the terrorist card for reelection has waned, the FDA has pointed the finger of blame for the salmonell...
Read full storyBush Regrets Cowboy Rhetoric But Not the Gunfight That Has Filled Boothill!
"Bring 'em on!" taunted chickenhawk Bush, whose only war experience was bombing missions over Texas while his poorer peers were in the quagmire called Vietnam.
Read full storyObama Seen Waving His Hand
At a recent rally in Philadelphia, Sen. Barack Obama was seen waving his hand. Political pundits around the country are intensely analyzing the wave and arriving at all sorts of interpretations. What is the true meaning of this cryptic gesture? Will...
Read full storyMad Trapper Makeover Takes Hollywood by Storm
As an outcome of the recent housing downturn the lifestyle of the nearly homeless has become "high style" with rich people and movies stars downsizing in droves, sometimes voluntarily, from multimillion-dollar homes and con...
Read full storyAndy Kaufman is back!
The "late" Andy Kaufman made his much anticipated comeback today after 24 years.
Read full storyExxon To Sell All Gas Stations, Go Into War Profiteering Full Time
(Hell On Earth) - In a surprise move, ExxonMobile has decided to sell all of their 2,220 gas stations in order to focus full time on war profiteering. Company spokesman Beezle A. Bub announced the move today in a hastily arranged press conference at...
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