A British consumer group today claimed that fuel for cars and lorries wasn't expensive enough.
Spokesman Tony Tigris said :'At just over a pound a litre it's almost being given away to motorists. The public needs increased taxation on fuel, and it needs it now, plus a few strikes by refinery workers and delivery drivers will help cut the ridiculous cheapness of petrol here.'
And the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, said :'From midnight tonight, 30 pence will be added to a litre of petrol, and of course sporadic strikes will help make the prices go up even further. The outrageously low cost of fuel can no longer be allowed to continue.'
But across the Atlantic, President George Duh Bush said :'Them Scots sure knows about fuelling. Heck, my house is full of Jack McDaniels bottles. Gas is 3 cents a gallon here, the Brits just don't know how cheap their golf caddy gassing is.'
British scientists have suggested that the increases in the price and tax on petrol will help cut global warming, although the other 99% of the population have suggested that only the BBC licence fee is a bigger con in world history, and it would be cheaper to fill cars with whisky soon.
Shares in BP rose by 17% today.