Written by Tragic Rabbit

Friday, 13 June 2008

image for Don't Panic! Space crap 'poses no danger' say MIB, Captain Kirk, Doctor Who
A: 42

Astronauts on the US space shuttle Discovery have been told that the numerous huge hunks of floating radioactive debris and even an apparent fender-bender with the UFP Spaceship Enterprise pose no danger for scheduled re-entry.

The shuttle crew had taken photos of several objects, one of which looked suspiciously like remnants of Buck Rogers' famous spaceship, as well as thousands of discarded United Federation of Planets (UFP) Styrofoam Big Mac containers.

But the debris was "non-critical", NASA said, and astronauts were urged to ignore anything else they saw -- including the massing Dalek fleet.

"The light up there plays funny tricks on you," said NASA MIB spokesman Admiral Kirk, "you never know what the hell your imagination will conjure up after a few weeks in zero gravity sucking up Tang and reconstituted curry through paper straws."

Discovery has been on a mission to the International Space Station (ISS) to install the Japanese-built Disneyland-in-Orbit facility, scheduled to open Spring 2010.

"After completing a standard day-before-landing test of the shuttle steering jets, the crew indicated they had seen a twenty-foot long object exactly matching the description of the vehicle last known to be piloted by famous physicist, neurosurgeon and rock-n-roller Buckaroo Banzai, just gently floating away from the shuttle from behind the rear portion of the right wing," an unidentified PhD with a penchant for jelly babies reported on Friday.


Meanwhile, NASA MIB deny that any vehicles or aliens exist anywhere, at any time, and particularly any that place humans within target range of ray-guns, sonic screwdrivers or alien mind-control.

"All the mind-control you need to worry about is concentrated in Washington, DC and Downing Street," said one cloaked and sunglasses-wearing member of MIB to the reporters gathered outside NASA headquarters.

"Don't give it another thought," he said as he raised a bright pen-like device and aimed it eyelevel at the foremost reporter.

What debris?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Space, Space Shuttle

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