Woman Who Eats 'Only Lard' Reaches 100

Funny story: Woman Who Eats 'Only Lard' Reaches 100

A woman who, for the last 97 years, has existed solely on a strict diet of lard, is 100 today, and still going strong, according to the doctors who monitor her life support machine. Nelly Crackers, of Blackburn in Lancashire, has reached her ton d...

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KGB horseshit billionaire a chump for Trump's $100m Palm Beach condo

Funny story: KGB horseshit billionaire a chump for Trump's $100m Palm Beach condo

Yekaterinburg, Russia - (Ass Mess): Holy crap. Russia's first ever self-made horseshit billionaire has spent his latest ill-gotten gains acquiring Donald Trump's Palm Beach Maison d'Illusions de Grandeur condo for $100 million.

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Daily Sport discovered to be a spoof

Funny story: Daily Sport discovered to be a spoof

After almost 23 years, having recently sold his interests, the editor-in-chief of the Daily Sport, David Greasy, confesses that his newspaper was a complete spoof.

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Rules to Determine if Sex Counts

Here is a list of rules that may be very helpful to determine if you have cheated on your spouse or significant other:...

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Guys You've Met in the Men's Room

Excitable - Shorts half twisted around, can't find hole, rips shorts.

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NEO Takes Control Of Every Political Party

Funny story: NEO Takes Control Of Every Political Party

After the great success of the neo-cons (neo conservatives) within the Republican party in the US, and the neo-labs (neo Labour or 'new' Labour as some called them) in the UK, in getting us all to believe we are fighting a none existent enemy...

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Sultan Of Brunei 'Broke'

Funny story: Sultan Of Brunei 'Broke'

The Sultan of Brunei, for years the world's richest man, is no longer 'loaded', but has fallen on hard times, and now "hasn't got a penny to scratch his arse with", it has been claimed.

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Zimbabwe's World Cup Team

Funny story: Zimbabwe's World Cup Team

Here is the Zimbabwe World Cup team for its qualifying matches:...

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Wimbledon Tennis "Fix" Claim

Funny story: Wimbledon Tennis "Fix" Claim

The world of tennis was rocked today when it was claimed that Wimbledon was fixed.

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Plan to Solve Oil Crisis

Funny story: Plan to Solve Oil Crisis

Shropshire, England (Scientific Human) - Speaking at the Convention of Oil Consultants (COOC) Lord Graham Gilliam revealed his plan to solve the worlds Oil Crisis. He claims to have perfected the process of "Gravity Reduction Surgery".

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Raj Persaud says: "Read my lips. I write my own lines."

Funny story: Raj Persaud says: "Read my lips. I write my own lines."

Disgraced celeb shrink Dr Raj Persaud has hit back at the GMC for suspending him for three months after it found he had plagiarised the work of other academics. Dr Persaud said: "I pity the fools! I don't steal my material from anyone. Sucka!"...

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Today's Police Federation Conference Agenda

Funny story: Today's Police Federation Conference Agenda

Here is the agenda for today's annual Police Federation Conference lectures:...

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Russell Brand Steals Radder's Girl

Funny story: Russell Brand Steals Radder's Girl

Notorious womanizer and ex-heroin addict Russell Brand was spotted yesterday with a new woman on his arm. Obviously this is not real news as it is a regular occurrence, happening most days. However this was no ordinary woman, this was Australian beau...

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Ten German Bombers Still Flying-Swiss Navy Disband

Funny story: Ten German Bombers Still Flying-Swiss Navy Disband

Reports from Switzerland indicate an ever increasing panic setting in amongst it citizens and guests, after repeated sightings of German Bombers in the air. It is believed there are ten of the said bombers patrolling the airspace of neutral Switzerla...

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Man U to be wound up

Funny story: Man U to be wound up

The Glazer brothers have announced that Manchester United, the former football team, is about to be wound up.

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Standing On One Leg For An Hour Is Art, Claims Gormless

Funny story: Standing On One Leg For An Hour Is Art, Claims Gormless

Speaking from Trafalgar Square in London, Antony Gormless claimed that standing on one leg for an hour is art. 'Yes, it's a cultural expression of London's ethnic wealth, and not just a totally boring and pointless exercise to get people like me into...

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Greenest budget ever to be announced

Funny story: Greenest budget ever to be announced

In his never-ending hunt for stealth taxes to impose on a tax-weary public, the Chancellor has announced a series of bold new measures to cut CO2 emissions, reduce energy waste and generally increase the burden of tax on the public to pay for Crapita...

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Prime Minister presents first annual Spam Awards

Funny story: Prime Minister presents first annual Spam Awards

In a glittering ceremony held at the Heathrow Ibis Hotel - bring your own wine - the Prime Minister presented the awards to the great, the bad and the downright disgusting at the first ever "Annual Spam Email Awards".

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Nelson Mandela tribute artist feted in London Clinton schmoozefest

Funny story: Nelson Mandela tribute artist feted in London Clinton schmoozefest

London - (Fetid Mess): The South African con artist and Nelson Mandela lookalike who won Bill Clinton's highest accolade for continuous mass deception of Global Piss Process luminaries has arrived in London for a fated hubris-driven ego bingeout...

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George Carlin's Last Joke: I'm Dead!

Funny story: George Carlin's Last Joke: I'm Dead!

(La La Land, CA) - In what he felt was his funniest anti-establishment joke of all time, George Carlin died yesterday.

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George W Bush anointed King of Albania

Funny story: George W Bush anointed King of Albania

Today George W Bush was anointed as the King of Albania, as that European country decided to restore its monarchy. Speaking from his new palace in Tirana, Mr Bush - now King George the First of Albania - said: 'My fellow Albinos, the good in men i...

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Leading drug dealer claims coke is not dangerous

Funny story: Leading drug dealer claims coke is not dangerous

On his fact-finding tour of the UK, Jay Zous Khrist, one of the USA's most dangerous drug barons and music rappers has openly declared that coke is not dangerous, and that governments throughout the world are "making a mountain out of a cruc...

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Queen told "become more personal, or else"

Funny story: Queen told "become more personal, or else"

In a harshly worded statement issued to Buckingham Palace, George Gallywhey, leader of the British Numeric Party - the BNP - has told Her Majesty the Queen to "shape up or ship out" and to stop being discriminatory.

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Prezza To Run For French President

Funny story: Prezza To Run For French President

John Prescott, the former shadow boxing minister for Northern Affairs, has declared his intention to take up jogging in a bid to become this year's 2012 Olympic mascot, sponsored by cheese manufacturer, President. They confirm they have come unde...

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Several countries decide to adopt Zimbabwean politics

Funny story: Several countries decide to adopt Zimbabwean politics

Although derided by the world, Zimbabwe has been officially recognised as a "moral beacon" for world dictatorial politics, according to a United Nations report issued today.

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Wimbledon 2008: Martina Navratilova and Billie Jean King Favourites To Win Lesbians Doubles

Funny story: Wimbledon 2008: Martina Navratilova and Billie Jean King Favourites To Win Lesbians Doubles

Martina Navratilova, the 9-time Wimbledon Women's Singles champion, and 7-time Ladies Doubles winner, and Billie Jean King are this year's runaway pre-tournament favourites to win the Lesbians Doubles...

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PGA Establishes Mandatory Workouts for Golfers

Funny story: PGA Establishes Mandatory Workouts for Golfers

After a golfer keeled over from a heart attack caused by mega-clogged arteries, the PGA announced its intent to establish a mandatory exercise regimen for all golfers. This daily workout routine is hoped to get the golfers in better shape after a rep...

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Chinese Rickshaw Driver Aims For Marathon Gold

Funny story: Chinese Rickshaw Driver Aims For Marathon Gold

A Beijing rickshaw driver has set his sights on Olympic gold in the unforgiving marathon event vowing not only to win the race but also to pick up fares as he conquers the gruelling 26 mile course.

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Pregnancy Pact - We Did It For Britney Spears

Funny story: Pregnancy Pact - We Did It For Britney Spears

The mystery of the Gloucester high pregnancy pact which has been puzzling the whole of United States, may now have become clearer after several of the young ladies involved sensationally claimed that they "Did it for Britney."...

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Gay marriage in Calif. gets 'new' term

Funny story: Gay marriage in Calif. gets 'new' term

Sacramento, CA - The state of California has recently allowed gays the right to be bonded in matrimony. The problem up to now has been gays wanting to use the traditional term of 'marraige'. Many on the religious right oppose gay people gett...

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July 4th Joyously Celebrated in Great Britain

Funny story: July 4th Joyously Celebrated in Great Britain

London England -- Most Americans are surprised to learn that there is a July 4th in Great Britain and it is celebrated with the greatest of joy and ecstasy. It is even more popular than Christmas. Britons celebrate the day thirteen retarded, disgusti...

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Obama solves Middle East Conflict

Funny story: Obama solves Middle East Conflict

Despite the escalation of tension over the middle east's nuclear situation, Obama assures the world that he has the answer to the problem. Iran says, "it will not consider talks with outsiders regarding its peaceful nuclear program."...

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