Written by Tiki Murphy

Friday, 29 February 2008

image for It Has Been Proven - Not Everyone Can Pick Their Friend's Nose
Dr. Boogart's double nostril test attempt.

Recent scientific studies have shown, that it is impossible for some people to pick a friend's nose. It appears that the size of ones nostrils is in proportion with ones fingers. Scientists have spent many years studying this mystifying event.

"It's true, if you have small fingers you have small nostrils. So, it stands to reason if your friend has large nostrils, they have large fingers. In conclusion, you could pick your friends nose, but they could not pick yours," Dr. Boogart was quoted as saying.

Dr. Boogart and company have spent many years and many hours testing this theory. The strain had become so much that his wife left him after his large finger tried to find it's way up her dainty nostril.

"If Boogie could have just left his work at home, we would still be married today. But then he tried to pick our 6 month old son's nose, and I had finally had enough. His finger was way too big, and Sniffie's was way too small. It was becoming an obsession," Mrs. Boogart said.

Her one regret about marrying the good doctor was "there wasn't a damn thing left for me to take in the settlement."

Now that the doctors have conclusive proof on the subject, they are thinking of tackling the myth of big ears and feet. Some of his colleagues have already started this project. With his help, they should have this next report done shortly.

So, for some of us the saying is true "You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose." But alas for some of us, we can still get satisfaction from picking our friends nose. Just as long as you are small boned. Just remember, it is not their fault their fingers are too big, so please don't judge, just love.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Nose, pick nose

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