Plymouth - (Tits-a-plenty-Mess): A Plymouth woman has been praised on her exemplary tits by local MP Linda Gilroy. "I wish I had a pair like that" said the labour politician with a majority of over 4000.
Helen Jevons, a dinner lady of note, who works at Eggbuckland Community College has been feeding the two blue tits since January. "They just flew into my garden and landed on my bird table and I started feeding them bread and such like, they have become part of the family."
Mrs Jevons tits are the pride of the constituency and she often invites friends around to view the birds. Mrs Gilroy, who voted very strongly for equal gay rights, is envious of Mrs Jevons fine pair of tits. "I wish I had tits like that and if I did I would be the talk of the commons!"
Of course these are not real tits, they are blue tits - birds - don't get confused. Linda Gilroy would not be jealous of Mrs Jevons breasts as, by all accounts, Mrs Gilroy has a fantastic rack of note.
(Authors note: I would not normally write such work but after reading other articles today I became inspired to pen this in the style of two other fellow writers who it seems are popular on this site)
