'Dr. Death' Reincarnated in Sin City

Funny story written by Vegas Sinner

Friday, 29 February 2008

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Las Vegas doctors reuse syringes in death-defying, cost-cutting practice.

Las Vegas, Nevada -- Jack "Dr. Death" Kervorkian has done his bad deeds and paid his debt to society. But for some Las Vegas, Nevada doctors and health care providers it's just business as usual- 'playing' with death is a long-term commonly accepted practice.

Forty thousand Nevadans are now getting the word that they might have been exposed to the deadly HIV and hepatitis B and C strains for the past three years at the Endoscopy Center of Southern Nevada in Las Vegas, Nevada. They are being urged to be tested for the death-defying diseases immediately.

This is the largest patient notification of its kind according to the federal Center of Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia.

Apparently, although clean needles have been used, the syringes have been commonly reused and not discarded after each patient injection. This procedure can cause a backflow of patient blood into medication vials and lead to the diseases.

Even for Las Vegas, where weird and despicable acts rein supreme, this takes the proverbial cake- and the icing.

Dr. Fascha Porsche of the Endoscopy Center of Southern Nevada reported to the media today that syringe sharing among patients is a "common practice" done by virtually everyone- doctors, technicians, and their other health providers since March 2004. "Quite frankly it's just something we leave up to our health care providers. We've just got way too many insurance reports to fill out and meetings to attend then to worry about all this other stuff," says a nonchalant Porsche, as he races into the bathroom to rid himself from the alcohol from his prior night's partying. "It's no big deal. In fact, we're saving lots of money by using the same syringes."

But all in Sin City are not as glib and short-sighted as Porsche. All major nightclubs in Las Vegas are trying to stave off the spread of the diseases by buying condoms by the truckloads and handing them out to all their partygoers throughout the evening. "We at least want to do our part to protect the people that are 'showing us their money' by attending our club," says a club owner that wishes to remain anonymous. "We place a condom on a necklace around their necks as they enter, so partygoers can see the safest people to hump later in the evening. We want to be known for promoting the practice of 'safe sin.'"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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