Why is Obama invincible? Dope-smoking 'Rent-a-Fainters' at Obama rallies contributing to his rise in polls!
ON-THE-STUMPS, USA: Senator Obama's rallies complete with his preacher-like rhetoric, oratorical flourishes and fainting damsels have become the talk of the circuit. In fact, m...
Read full storyAmerican politics crazier each day
The world of American politics, is, I am sure you would agree, a mish mash of back stabbing punctuated with inuenndo and hearsay. Point in question the elegibility of Senator John McCain to run for President.
Read full story10 Reasons to Attend Hogwart's Over Xavier's...
There are ten key reasons why Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardy dwarfs Xavier's School for the Gifted. Here they are... * Cooler name. * Better powers. Not just limited to ones you are born with. * Shorter time having to spend there. You graduate Hogwarts in 7 years, you don't start until 11. * Cooler classes. * Dumbledore isn't psychic and he...
Read full storyDr Edward Maxwell revealed as a Fraud
Plymouth social circles were in shock last night when it was revealed that noted local author and literary critic Dr Edward Maxwell has never published a book. The fraud was uncovered following an anonymous tip by an unnamed Professor to leading loca...
Read full storyVanessa Feltz - Why? By Mr Ray Ving (76 and 3 quarters)
In the first in a series of Articles from our loyal readers, Mr Ray Ving, aged 76, and from Dulwich reveals his thoughts for the day.
Read full storyPrince Harry to Agincourt frontlines; Bavarian claimant 'moves up a notch'
Harry, 23, third-in-line to the disputed Throne of England, has been sent to the front lines at Agincourt as part of a complex pan-European political web of intrigue designed to restore the House of Stuart, CNN sources report.
Read full storyHell Has Been Banned by Catholics....
Melbourne, Australia - In Melbourne, Australia, a kid by the name of Hell has been told he cannot attend the Catholic School of his choice. It appears that the school is terrified that Hell may have actually produced Angels that will rival those of H...
Read full storyThe Cat that ate Jeremy Kyle - My side
I am just a normal Moggie. I have done nothing to deserve the fame and recognition I get. I go out to all the hot-spots, the bottom of the garden, the end of the road, the Litter tray, it is a new club that is always shutting down and then opening somewhere else completely different.
Read full storyBush urges wirecrap immunity law as former US President's family files lawsuit
Washington AC/DC - (ReUterus & AssoCIAted Mess): Sweating profusely and with a noticeable nervous tic on the pretzel area of his temple a visibly frightened President Bush today urged the House of Representatives to quickly pass the Wirecrap Immunity...
Read full storyArrogant 'Crypto-Nazi' William EffBuckley Jr. Felled by Very Large Word
(New York City) Mr. EffBuckley Jr., the erudite Ivy Leaguer and 'arch' conservative who showered huge and hate-filled words on American liberals during the decades-long Cold War that followed the post-FDR rise of the Conservative Right, died...
Read full storyPrince Harry seconded to opium harvesting duties
Hell-Mandelson Province - (Tory Bora Mess): The Paul-Burrell-spawned tribute act known as Prince Harry has been on opium poppy harvesting duties since the end of December the Ministry of Sitting on the Fence has revealed.
Read full storyClinton, Obama to put the W. back in work
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton detailed their "Put America Back to Work" initiatives on Wednesday, and both were surprisingly similar, but for one major exception.
Read full storyHillary Clinton's Candidacy Found Dead at Age 33
(Unassociated Press) Cleveland, Ohio- After being considered to be in danger for the last few months, the body of Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Democratic Presidential Nomination was found dead early Wednesday morning. The b...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Contestants to Appear Naked
Hollywood, Calofornia (IPP) - American Idol contestants will appear naked on the next show. Only persons over the age of 16 will be allowed to see the naked special edition of American Idol.
Read full storyStarbucks Coffee Can Cure Tuberculosis
Mephistophel, Tennessee (IP) Scientists working at the Tuberculosis Institutre in Mephistophel, Tennessee have announced that Starbucks coffee can cure tuberculosis (TB).
Read full storyMcCain Mistaken for Frankenstein
Dallas, Texas (IPP) - John McCain narrowly escaped serious injury yesterday when a group of scientists in search of their lost experimental specimen mistook him for Frankenstein and threw a net over him.
Read full storyGovernment Offers Free Dumpster Diving Classes
Washington (IPP) - The Department of the Secretary of the Interior (DSI) is offering the American people free classes in dumpster diving. The classes are going to be held in tents set up in strip mall parking lots across the country.
Read full story'We fear Chevron takeover unless punitive damages quashed' say Exxon-Mobil attorneys
Washington DC - (Prince William Sound Mess): "My clients fear the humiliation of being swallowed up by the mighty Chevron Corp if the $2.5billion Prince William Sound fine goes through," attorneys for Exxon-Mobil moaned at Supreme Court app...
Read full storyMag apologises over fake seedy review
Loss Angeles, Ca - (Bad Ass Mess): Celeb culture magazine LAFagHagSlagMag has apologised unreservedly after a fake seedy review appeared slamming the Black Crowes album 'Whorepaint'.
Read full storyWhore on Terra spreads to Norway
Oslo, Norway - (AssoCIAted Mess): Nordic anti-terror cops pounced on a Norwegian fishing village church congregation yesterday after a consignment of Russian red herrings was found to conceal offensive nuclear material as well as crack cocaine.
Read full storyUK Earth quake brings Ozzie Osborne's Sugar Puffs.
Ex Black Sabbaths front-man Ozzie Osborne was celebrating yesterday after a consignment of Sugar Puffs breakfast cereal arrived at his L.A mansion, thanks to an earth quake.
Read full storyPope denies receiving oral sex from Jamie Lynn Spears
At an early morning press conference at the Vatican, Pope Benedict XVI firmly denied having ever having received fellatio from Jamie Lynn Spears, the pregnant youthful star of TV's Zoey 101 and the younger sister of troubled pop star Britney Spe...
Read full storyDoctors discover cause of obesity epidemic is lack of nicotine
In a groundbreaking study, U.S. researchers have discovered that the national obesity epidemic is being caused by a lack of cigarette smokers.
Read full storyBBC Seeks Minority Employees
In response to catterwalls of criticism, the BBC has launched a hiring campaign to diversify its image.
Read full storyJuanito McCainoso Declares: "I am Heespaneek!"
With underdogs running left and left on the democratic side, republican campaign advisors have been trying desperately to find a minority status for the Grand Old Party. This has proven difficult, of course, since every thing grand and old in the US...
Read full storyNew Galaxy Blew
Astronomers have discovered the eccyesis of a new dark brown galaxy. Ron Maestros said it is really exciting to discover a new galaxy, especially a round loop galaxy of this kind. There will almost definitely be life according to the rich spectromete...
Read full storyMcCain Switches Candidacy to Panamaniac Tribal Chieftain!
In an election year that has surprises about gender, race and costumes, no shocker has been bigger than the disqualification of Arizona Senator John Mccain because of his birth outside of the US of A in the Panama Canal Zone.
Read full storyBuckley Finally Drops Down Dead!
After so many years of people telling William Buckley Jr to drop down dead he finally did just that.
Read full storyThe Conundrum in Cleveland
Home of the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland(named after the awesome cleavage of its first Governor's wife: Two-ton Tonia) became the site for sore eyes of the, perhaps, last democratic debate of the Primary season and a debatable debacle it was:...
Read full storyThe Golden Fleece Awards Restored For Government Waste
For many years, the late Wisconson Senator William Proxmire gave away prizes, called the Golden Fleece Awards, for excesses in government spending. Former winners included an $84,000 study to determine why people fall in love, another government fun...
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