Jews On Trial for Murdering Jesus

Funny story written by bartlebysnopes

Thursday, 28 February 2008

image for Jews On Trial for Murdering Jesus
Jesus is expected to appear as a key witness

Nearly 2000 years after the death of Jesus, his family is finally getting the justice they deserve.

A high-powered attorney from Nazareth is leading the charge in the case against all Jews in the world at the recommendation of former U.S. Presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

The trial, which is set to begin on Monday in an undisclosed location in the U.S., will be the trial of the century. While not all Jews will be present in the courtroom, the names of all Jews throughout the world have been submitted, and all living Jews, practicing or not, will be sentenced to the same punishment if convicted.

"They killed Jesus, and they meant to do it," the attorney, whose name is not being released for safety reasons, claimed. "We are hoping to convict them on murder in the first-degree. Since we can't go after the people who literally were there, we figured we better go for their descendants."

Although no true direct descendants of Jesus have stepped forward, the attorney believes that this will be a win for all Christians, "who have needed justice for a long time."

"This isn't just for Jesus and his immediate family. This is for all the Christians in the world."

A Jewish man from New York, who asked to remain anonymous in order to avoid any persecution before the trial, has claimed that "the allegations are outrageous. To hold an entire people accountable for one deed is absurd. We will not stand for this. I didn't kill Jesus."

As of now, he has no choice. On Monday, his future will begin to be determined, whether he thinks it is just or not.

"It's about time this happened," a Christian from Kansas said. "We've been searching for justice for a long time. Those Jews need to pay for what they did to our Savior."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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