Arrogant 'Crypto-Nazi' William EffBuckley Jr. Felled by Very Large Word

Written by Tragic Rabbit

Thursday, 28 February 2008

image for Arrogant 'Crypto-Nazi' William EffBuckley Jr. Felled by Very Large Word
Arrogant 'Crypto-Nazi' Felled by Very Large Word.

(New York City) Mr. EffBuckley Jr., the erudite Ivy Leaguer and 'arch' conservative who showered huge and hate-filled words on American liberals during the decades-long Cold War that followed the post-FDR rise of the Conservative Right, died Wednesday whilst trying to pronounce a particularly large and difficult word. Mr. EffBuckley was 102.

Mr. EffBuckley Jr. had never once previously displayed pronunciation difficulties during a lifetime spent spouting scholarly gobbledygook as an editor, columnist, novelist, notorious debater, TV talk show host, McCarthy-ist, harpsichordist, queer-baiter, and infamous master of 'le mot juste'.

Indeed, the learned Mr. EffBuckley Jr. had always worked at a daunting pace, taking as little as 20 minutes to write a speech of 5000 extremely large words, but it was likely this very penchant for multi-syllabic pronunciation that finally killed him, medical experts suggest.

Mr. EffBuckley Jr.'s particular brand of wrathful, high-brow, reptilian conservatism will be sorely missed in some circles.

When asked today to comment on EffBuckley's death, novelist Joan Didion had this to say, "On hearing the news, I asked myself, `Who else, on so many issues, has been so wrong so much of the time?' I couldn't think of anyone."

Fellow writer and speaker Gore Vidal may have best captured the essence of public reaction to EffBuckley's death when he simply remarked, "William was just such an annoying, puffed-up old queer."

Tragic Rabbit, USA Tomorrow, NYC

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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