Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 24 February 2008

image for Yorkshire Ripper slams 'amateurish' serial killers jailed this week
It's been a gory week for criminal justice watchers

HMP Broadmoor - (Psychotic Mess): The Yorkshire Ripper has told jail mates that this week's convicted UK serial killers are amateurish novices by comparison to the benchmark standards he laid down as the country's most evil slayer.

"The only real competition I ever had was from that useless tosser Dr Harold Shipman," the Ripper said today, "but that's just on the basis of numbers."

The Ripper has followed two headline stories of the Essex multiple murderer and of a chef whose tally of foreign killings only became apparent during his trial for the murder of a young London woman.

"Shipman? He had a disgust of gory slashings and faffed around with high-dose morphine," the Ripper mused to his cellmates according to Belmarsh insider sources.

"I reckon he just loathed the old biddies and did them in to avoid touching their geriatric flesh when the time came for them to pop their clogs.

"If it had come down to a one-on-one competition between the two of us I'd have had him along with all the slags - if only because of his wimpish so-called caring angle."

The Ripper is serving an unlimited tariff in Britain's top psychiatric jail after a career dedicated to outdoing his Victorian role model.

Harold Shipman killed an estimated 400 elderly women and then topped himself in a psychiatric slammer.

His untold biography has been banned by successive Home Secretaries.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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