Hillary Clinton about Barack Obama: "I Did Have Sexual Relations With That Man"

Funny story written by bartlebysnopes

Sunday, 24 February 2008


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image for Hillary Clinton about Barack Obama: "I Did Have Sexual Relations With That Man"
On one hand, he's happy with the poll results...on the other, he wishes he'd gone for Jessica

Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is once again making big headlines. And this time she is trying to bring Barack Obama down with her.

In an effort to curb Obama's seemingly unstoppable popularity, Clinton has come out with news that she and Obama have been having an affair on the campaign trail.

"I just want the world to know that Barack and I did have sex. I had sexual relations with him. I do not wish to discuss the details at this time, but I would like to add that they are very graphic," Clinton told reporters.

Obama has yet to come forward with any statement regarding the issue, but no one from his camp has yet to deny the new rumor.

"What I want the people of this country to think about," Clinton said, "is whether or not they want to go through this with another lying male. I've come out and told the truth. We women always do. Where's Barack? What does he have to say about it? What else is he hiding from us? Clearly I am the more reliable candidate. Besides, it doesn't really count as cheating if your husband has been sleeping with other women since the day you married him. Obama's wife has never been unfaithful. She told me over breakfast."

Unfortunately for Clinton, her latest announcement seems to have backfired. It turns out that the American population would rather have a promiscuous man than a dirty slut in office.

"I ain't voting for no ho," a former Clinton supporter told reporters. "I'm going to vote for Obama."

The only backlash Obama seems to be receiving is because he slept with Hillary as opposed to some hotter female.

"If he had slept with, say Jessica Simpson or Paris Hilton," one Republican voter said, "then I certainly would jump on his bandwagon. But Hillary. Yuck. Hells no."

Polls taken after Clinton's announcement show that her only supporters are fifty plus year old women whose husbands have cheated on them. 85% of all Democrats say they are now in favor of Obama, and Obama is leading McCain in overall polls by 3%.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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