"Wolfman" Wolfowitz Sneaks Back in Through the Bushes

Funny story written by Evan Essence

Sunday, 24 February 2008

image for "Wolfman" Wolfowitz Sneaks Back in Through the Bushes
Wolfowitz (right): "Hey man, gimmie five!"

A new international organization, "Worldwide Wolfowitz Watchers", organized through the World Wide Web, has been monitoring the activities of the notorious Neocon, Paul Wolfowitz, who on January 25th, re-emerged as George Bush's choice as Chair of the International Security Advisor Board, a panel that advises the State Department on arms-control issues.

With the forced resignation of Wolfowitz, last December, from his position as Director of the World Bank, as well as expulsion from power of his neocon cohorts Alberto Gonzales, and Karl Rove ...to the extent that they paid attention at all...most of the public assumed that the Great Neocon Conspiracy for Total Global Domination was down and out, and has long been forgotten.

Wolfowitz, commonly called "Wolfie" ... his term of endearment among his friends... is best known as one of the chief architects of the War in Iraq...a war that has no purpose, a war that can't be ended, and a war that can't be won...and for otherwise making a hopelessly bloody mess of a once wealthy and highly educated country.

The Great Neocon Conspiracy for Total Global Domination was based on the premise that the group of people who can control all of the world's oilfields, the surveillance of all of the world's telecommunication systems, and hold the leaders of all nations under the leash of indebtedness, by controlling the World Bank...can effectively take absolute control over the entire world.

So, since the American people have finally summoned the will to turn these discredited neocon-artists out of office, what is George Bush doing appointing Wolfowitz to a new position of power?

Harvard professor of Political Science, Barney Hampton explained "Old Dreams Die Hard."

"The Bush Dynasty's quest for global domination," professor Hampton noted "goes back as far as George Bush's grandfather Prescott Bush, who was the financial backer of Adolf Hitler, and his demented dream of conquering the world.

"His son, George H. Bush, following his father's footsteps, ushered in the New World Order, with his vision that all of the world's emerging digital telecommunication networks, could be easily monitored by a central world authority."

"While Adolf Hitler managed to take control of Germany, because the country had collapsed into a depression...nobody anticipated the the United States..a great Democracy and the world's greatest super-power....would ever follow in the tracks of Nazi Germany," Professor Hampton remarked. "Nobody imagined that George Bush's goal was to over-spend the country into financial collapse, in order to emulate the social conditions which allowed Adolf Hitler to come into power."

"While America's citizenry are looking forward, hopefully, to the restoration of Democracy and Constitutional rule, by finally evicting the Oil Magnate Mafia from their stranglehold over the American people, in the upcoming election, the diabolical forces of the Great Neocon Conspiracy are silently plotting a comeback," Professor Hampton concluded.

Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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